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Losing more

So i’ve been helping my friend get a girlfriend and i’ve been telling him what to say if he doesn’t know what to do and so they’ve been getting along really well. I’m genuinely happy for him and that he’s able to find somebody that cares for him but i’m scared that he’ll end up ditching me once they start dating. It’s happened with a lot of friends of mine and i’m just scared i’ll lose him too. I don’t have a lot of people, maybe one or two and we don’t talk often. I don’t want to say any of this to him because I don’t want to let myself believe that I actually allowed myself to care for somebody

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Dear @justbunnys
You helping your friend here shows that you do care for somebody. And if he does you, he’s missing out. Bring up your feelings with him, let him know your concerns, and if he’s a true friend, he’ll make sure that doesn’t happen. You sound like a great person, and he’s losing a lot if he ditches you.

Stay strong; you are loved :slight_smile:
~Danny

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The truth is there are “ride or die” people in the world and fake people. The problem is that you can’t usually tell until way too late. What’s your gut tell you? More power to that guy for finding a girl. You can never control people or predict the future. Just enjoy the ride.

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I think you’re doing something really cool for your friend, even though it’s something that leaves you feeling kind of vulnerable. I hope that he’ll be able to recognize the help you’re giving him and that it’s because you care about the friendship you have in him.

I agree with @Danny ; if he ditches you after this, it’s definitely his loss. Sometimes people who aren’t good for us make the decision for us to escort themselves out of our lives. If he can’t see what a valuable friend he has in you and takes you for granted, then he’s the one missing out, and not you.

I understand where you’re coming from about just not wanting to lose him to begin with, though. If you can, try to reach out to him throughout his relationship to hang out or hit up a movie or bar or whatever. Even people I know tend to disappear when they enter new relationships because they get swept up in the excitement of a new person. It happens to a lot of new relationships, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want anything to do with you anymore. He might not be available all the time, and you might have to do more legwork and it might not always pan out since he’s splitting his time now, but also if he’s a true friend he might appreciate the chance to connect with someone outside of his new relationship. I’m wishing all three of you - him, the girl, and yourself - all the best.

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@justbunnys

You really are a good friend to him. Thank you for what you did and the help you provided.

Your concerns about your friendship are absolutely understandable. If you feel comfortable with this idea, it would still be great to try to talk about it with him. To share your fears. Even if it feels like it’s something negative, it’s actually the result of the fact you appreciate him. You care about him and you care about this relationship. There’s nothing wrong with it.

I understand how much scary it could be to allow yourself to cherish what’s between you two. There’s a part of risk in any relationship, whether it’s about friends or lovers. Losses are part of life itself. But when you don’t allow yourself to take those risks, you also prevent yourself to live wonderful things that life has to offer to you. You can try to find a balance together, between communicating too much and not communicating at all. You won’t be able to control his behavior and reactions, but at least you can try to makes things go well for both of you.

Wish you all the best for the future.
Hold fast. :heart:

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It sucks…friends come and go. What lasts forever is you knowing that you are a helpful, compassionate friend to others.

A true friend won’t stop being your friend