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Losing my brother

I lost my brother like a week ago. My brother talked a lot about heart support and taking to people here or like another chat thing. I feel so lost without him bc he was my best friend. I’ve been crying non stop. It was so hard seeing him being so unwell, but it’s so hard being without him.
He left me a really long letter and encouraged me to be open and find support and so I’m like really thankful he had heart support to help him feel less alone and I hope I can feel less alone too. I won’t be the same without him, but I hope I can make him proud and share his positivity.

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Zarzie…

My name is Matt and I am right there with you. We both have lost our brothers. Was he younger or older than you?

I lost my brother back in 2006 and there is not a day that goes by without me thinking about him and missing him so much.

You definitely have a support system here and you are definitely not alone in this.

Much love :heart:

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That you recognized his positivity is evidence that you also have the ability to share it. But for now, it’s best for you to be openhearted towards yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Allow the tears whenever you need to, as they are therapeutic.

I also hope you can feel less alone. Like him, you also have Heart Support, where people are willing to listen and care. Clearly, your connection with him was and still is very deep. You have already made him proud.

You won’t be the same without him, but the love, experience and wisdom you shared will always be part of you.

Though we are not physically present, our hearts are reaching out to you.

Please be well, and remember to take care of yourself.

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@Mattymac77 he was older than me. I’m the youngest of three and he’s the middle. Wow I’m so sorry you lost your brother too. I’ve never lost anyone I’ve been close to before. I don’t know how ppl cope tbh.

@Wings thank you for that. I feel very moody and crazy. He was like my best friend, I always talked to him and he helped me so much. He was always encouraging ppl to do their best. It’s going to be so hard to be able to do that. I’ll always hold onto that love and all the memories. My parents are also finding it very hard obviously. He held us all together so much and I think we took that for granted. All my emotions are everywhere Like I’m mad at myself then mad everyone else and then so heart broken.

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Zarzie… Where can I start? I’m so sorry you lost your brother and your best friend. Losing someone you love a lot hurts. I know how it feels to lose someone close to me. Last year on June 17th I lost my uncle to brain cancer and every now and then something reminds me of him.

I just want you to know, everyone here loves and cared for you. You are not alone. If you ever need to talk, you can always message me and I’ll do my best to help out.

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@Zarzie

Hey there, I’m so very sorry for your loss. I’m glad you’ve found your way to sharing your feelings here and I’m so grateful for this opportunity to be a part of your life in this way, even though it’s tragic.

Everyone deals with grief differently, and my only advice to you would be to let this season take its course, but don’t travel alone. There will be times where it seems overwhelming, but keep reaching out and sharing.

In my opinion, the best way to honor a person who isn’t with us anymore, to show the world that they have really impacted our life in a meaningful way, is to continue to live our life in a way that shows how loved we were by that individual. Live your best life, and honor your brother well, but don’t do it alone.

You’re loved. Hold Fast.

-Danjo

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Hey there @Zarzie,

I might not be on the Support Wall much, but I spend a lot of time on the HeartSupport Discord, and I believe I saw your brother there frequently.

I’ll always remember them as the kind and supportive friend I saw them as. They prompted us to look within, and find the best in ourselves. They shone as a force of positivity in the lives of many, myself included.

I’m so sorry for your loss, and I want you to know that in these moments, even when it feels like you’re alone, you aren’t. We’re here for you, whether you just need to chat, or need a bit of support to help you through the difficult times.

I’ve found through moments of loss in my life that remembering the good times really helped me. If you are comfortable sharing, I would love to hear one (or some) of your favorite stories about your brother.

Best wishes Zarzie, we’re here if you need us.

-Kiwi

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Im so sorry for your loss and i wish you and your family the best in the future. Im glad that you are able to share his positive messages on here.

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@Zarzie

Despite his challenges, and during the short time that we’ve been able to spend with him in this community, your brother has been very brave and has never ceased to show compassion for the people he loved, including you. He was a very caring indivudal and his perseverance was truly inspiring, even for just a random stranger like me.

It’s okay if you need to cry. It’s okay to feel lost when such a significant part of your world, of yourself, is gone. Through all of this we’re standing by your side, holding your hand, thinking of you and your family. You’re not alone.

The letter he left you, his words, his voice, the memories you have of him will take you far in life, but never far away from him. He’ll always be in your heart, which is one of the most precious places that ever existed. A true gem of love and compassion shining through you that you’ll be able to share with the rest of the world, at your own pace. I have no doubt you’ll find your way to honor his memory, to make him proud and radiate his positivity.

I’m sending lots of hugs your way. :hrtlegolove:

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Well I wasn’t expecting this much of a response from ppl. I can’t tell you how much it means to me

@alexgamer_hameowlton it sucks real big losing someone to illness. Especially when they deserve so much more

@Danjo knowing I’m not alone is the biggest comforts I could ask for. Everyone reaching out has already helped and hearing ppl say such kind things to me and about him eases the ache even like a little bit.

@nzkiwi442 not a surprise I cried reading that bc it means a lot that ppl thought of him that way! He would challenge me heaps to show kindness and to speak up when something was wrong. My very fav memories were when he would make me stop sulking and come outside or just sit in my room with me until I cracked. He left me a lot of little notes over the years I wish I kept every single one now, but I have a few.

@Hockter24 thank you for your really sweet words, I appreciate it!

@Micro I can’t even begin to thank you enough for everything you’ve already said and done. You’re exactly the kind of ppl I know he would have loved to be just like and would have loved being around. Love can go a long way to healing!

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There’s a song I’ve been listening to on repeat and probably shouldn’t bc it hurts so much hearing the words
“tell me i’m only dreaming. Tell me he’s just sleeping, and when morning comes we’ll both wake up to the sun”.
My dang heart feels like is going to explode

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I’m so sorry for your loss, zarzie. I’ve only ever lost one family member and another friend close to me and it was very hard. Sending love your way!

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There’s a song you should listen to on repeat.
It goes:
Summer in the hills, those hazy days I do remember,
we were running still,
had the whole world at our feet,
watching seasons change,
our roads were lined with adventure,
mountains in the way couln’t keep us from the sea,
Here we stand, open arms
This is home where we are
Ever-strong, in the world that we made,
I Still Hear You In The Breeze,
See Your Shadows In The Trees,
HOLDING ON, MEMORIES NEVER CHANGE…

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@e.thehuman thank you. I had a really hard night last night. My oldest brother is coming home today and I can’t wait to see him.

@leonafan000 that song sounds really nice, I’ll have to look it up, might be a bit happier than the other one I was listening to.

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Sorry to keep this post going. My oldest brother came home for the weekend and had a big fight with my parents and then left. It was really shattering and I hope they talk again. I kinda was hoping for him to stay around. Being back at school is half a good distraction and half kinda like more stress. Hard to focus.

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I understand your pain.

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Dear Zarzie, I am so sorry for your loss! I have two younger brothers and only thinking about losing them breaks my heart. I hope you and your family find a way to come together in this time. And be sure that in heart support you will always find someone to talk to :hrtlegolove:

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Thank you for your very kind message, that’s really sweet. Feelings change from moment to moment and day to day, but doing what we can rn.

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That’s understandable, zarzie. I lost my grandpa a year a go and even though it’s gotten easier i still get sad from time to time. Even when my friend past it was hard and people didn’t understand why I was so upset. You’re not alone and take the time you need to grieve. Just make sure you take care of yourself while you do. Stay strong!

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