Loss of a parent

Feeling down, hurt and angry. Lost my mom at the beginning of the month. Feeling alone, hurt and lot of anger towards myself. Some appropriate anger. But the anger against myself I’m feeling regret. I feel I could’ve interacted more. I’m hurting and have tons of uncertainty. Idk what other words to say.

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Hi Mrsyn. First of all, I am so sorry for the loss of your mother; My thoughts and condolences are with you as you navigate through this difficult time. The feelings that you express here are 100% VALID and it’s OK to allow those feelings to come through during the time of grieving. The grieving process doesn’t have a beginning or an end and its different for everyone. I lost my dad 4 years ago today (May 14, 2017 - Mother’s Day) and I still find myself grieving over his passing; even more now than I ever have. The days, months and maybe even years ahead may get difficult at times as you may still grieve for you mom, but know that you are NOT ALONE in your grief and that this community is here to support during these difficult times.

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Dear @Mrsyn,

I’m so very sorry for your loss. It must have been such a heartbreaking feeling just to convey how you feel into words, yet it also takes a lot of strength, and I’m deeply grateful that you allowed yourself to share your heart here.

Grief is incredibly painful. It’s beyond words. It brings so many deep emotions as it’s not much of a linear process, but more like a repetition of waves made of so many feelings at the same time. This anger that you have, these regrets as well… it makes sense, friend. I’ve felt and feel that way too when I think about the people I lost and love dearly. I feel like I should have done so many things differently, that I should have said “I love you” so much more, that I should have spent more time with them and be present during major events.

Once we’ve lost someone, we can’t help but look back at our story with them, and think about all the things that can’t be anymore. Regrets hit deeply… and as much as it makes sense to feel that way, it’s still important to give ourselves grace while our heart is grieving. Judging the past with the knowledge of what happens afterwards is unfair to ourselves. It also prevents us to embrace what actually was. All the moments of joy, all the memories, all the time that we actually spent with our loved ones. These are treasures to cherish while we also learn to let go of what never was.

Your emotions are the reflection of your love for your mom. How you feel is valid and there is room for all of it. But please make sure to be gentle with yourself while you are processing this immense loss in your life. The situation is not fair and brings a deep sense of injustice, but this injustice is not your fault. It’s not the product of what you could have done better or not. Your pain, your hurt, is valid and has all the reasons to exist.

I hope you know that you are not alone, and that you’ll allow yourself to keep reaching out and seeking connections during this painful time. We’re in this with you, friend. Allow yourself to feel what needs to be felt, without any judgment. There is no right or wrong way to feel while we learn to compose with the void that someone left.

I’m sending so much love your way. :hrtlegolove:

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Hey @Mrsyn ,

The HeartSupport Houston team responded to your post here. Hold fast friend, and lean on our community.

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