Lost and Need Help

I don’t know where to begin or how much to even say. I’m very unhappy in my life and struggling with alcohol addiction and self-harm behaviors. I’m 42, work a part-time job that I don’t enjoy anymore, I’ve been without a home for almost 3 years now, I currently sleep in the office at my job (I hate it), I’ve been single for the past 4 years, never married, no kids, just barely getting by. I’m at the point in my life where I feel it’s pointless for me to still be alive, there is no reason for me to still be here, I don’t even know how I made it to 42. I don’t want to kill myself but I don’t want to be alive anymore - does that make sense? I’m just at a point where I don’t even want to fix my life anymore, I just want it to be over.

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Hey friend,
I hear you. I’ve felt that and still battle with that. Not wanting to die, but not wanting to live, feeling like there is no reason to be alive…that’s hard. Its a real fight. But I am glad you are still here, that you made this post, and that you’re a part of our community now. I would encourage you to check out HeartSupport’s book Rewrite. Its about self-harm and help for that. I read a book recently that dealt with a lot of what you are talking about that I found some real perspectives to challenge the thoughts of suicide and finding hope and help for now, its called Reasons to Live by Matt Haig. Its not a HS resource, but I would encourage you to get a copy of that in addition to Rewrite. Challenging the thoughts is important. Challenging the lifestyle is important too. Please know that you have value, you are seen, heard, and cared for. You matter, your life matters, and we need you. Please stay.

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