Lately I have been losing interest in my studies. And I also like to distract myself a lot. I have no focus in class and I just have felt really… empty lately. I used to be okay in my studies and it makes me feel so helpless when I am not able to do things. Instead of studying or doing my assignments, I’d sleep. Sleep has always been an escape for me. If there’s one thing I look forward to in life, that is sleeping and eating. When I do those things my mind is comforted. I hate that I look forward to them. I should be able to live life but it’s weighing me down. Sometimes I’d feel okay but other times, after hanging out with friends, out of nowhere an overwhelming sadness comes upon me. I also have a weird thing where I am terribly afraid of being judged. Like, when the waitress acts a certain way I feel like they are annoyed and whatnot. I hate that I assume how people feel and relate it to myself not being nice enough or something. I also just had a test which I did so badly in. I tried to stop my tears from falling during the exam and after that I just burst out. I feel so weak. I want to find myself again… I want to talk to someone about everything… Should I seek help?
First of all I give you kudos for having the courage to speak about your troubles. Yes, I would encourage you to confide in others and talk about your struggles and how you are feeling. I advise you to do it with trusted counsel, someone that is emotionally invested in you.
Months ago I was in the same state: I was in an abusive relationship and manipulated into not speaking to anyone about my problems. That is not healthy, so please go talk to someone, even if they can’t offer any advise it’s just good to let it out. God wants us to bear on another’s cross (Galatians 6), so it’s a great opportunity to let someone serve you. I hope this helps you, just remember that failure is an event and not a person. I have climbed many mountains in my life and now I face another one but with the faith of a mustard seed you can move mountains.
Thanks for sharing! I feel the same way when it comes to not focusing well in my classes and sometimes use work as a distraction when it comes to my intrusive thoughts or feelings. I think it would be best if you do seek help, but I think the first step is to open up to someone that you trust and care about when it comes to how you feel and everything. You’re strong and you got this!