The more the days go on I feel lost and confused on why this happened and keep asking the what if’s. On April 6 it will be a year since I lost a friend in the tragic accident and I feel the more the days go by the worse the pain gets. I’ve been going to grief counselling and seeing a therapist regularly but none of it is helping. I try to live my life to the fullest for him and think he wouldn’t want me to be stuck in a loop of sadness because of his passing. The what if thoughts constantly go on in my mind. I also think a lot why did he have to leave so soon because of someone else’s careless mistakes that cost 16 young men’s lives. A few weeks ago was especially hard because all I saw was the constant statements being read by the family’s I spent countless hours and days crying cause when ever I opened any social media there where news story’s everywhere. Some days I feel angry that I couldn’t have been there for him when it happened and that I never got to say goodbye to him. I just feel so lost, confused and, angry about it all and have fallen into a hole of depression.
First off, thanks for reaching out. It takes quite a bit of strength to reach out to people. Second off, I know how you feel, not as much, but close. Even though I didn’t know anyone in the accident, my family live pretty close to that scene. My uncle used to drive past it daily. We were all rocked.
One thing you have to remember is that you aren’t alone. Keep taking those steps. A single step in any direction but backwards, is one in the right direction. Grief is hard to overcome, especially if it is being covered immensely by the mainstream media. What I reccomend is that you keep talking to your therapists, and grief counsellors. They will help. Stick close to some friends, they might help you more than you expect. Another thing, probably avoid some social media until this whole ordeal dies down. It sounds like the news is a trigger to these emotions, so try your best to block out the news programs and whatnot.
Keep strong, we’ve got your back and you ARE loved. You’ll be on your feet in no time
As someone who knew a couple of the people involved. This year has been such a hard year in regards to this situation. But I want to remind you that you’ve made it this far as hard as that has been. I live everyday knowing that I am living the life that they would be proud of and as much as I wish they were here and I still got to hangout with them. The idea of making them proud brings some hope in the middle of unexplainable grief.