Lost & Helpless

My 14 year old sister ran away from home recently. She spread all these sick horrible lies about our dad that weren’t true because she didn’t wanna be grounded for mouthing off and not doing chores. She told the counselor at school and all her friends our dad was abusive and was using drugs again when he hasn’t touched anything besides a wine cooler since I was a preteen. Since before my sister was born. He got clean for her… changed his entire life for her. So she could have a normal life. He did everything he could for her. She never appreciated it. Just treated him like dirt. So suddenly when her estranged sister from Alaska decides to help her run away. Her mother, knowingly helped behind my dads back. Lied to his and my face aabout it. Jenifer has since stopped talking to me, no matter what I send her she won’t respond… this all happened under my nose and I had no idea and no way of stopping it.
She’s my only sister… my dad is crushed and he’s talking about relapsing. I just feel so lost and helpless. I try talking to the police about it and even though they say that she’s been listed as a runaway nationwide and will do everything they can. I’ve spoken to 4 different officers regarding my sisters disappearance and they just don’t seem to care. 2 of them couldn’t even take the case # for it…
My dad has been clean for years, got his license back, paid off all his fines, all his back child support that he owed my mother, went from sleeping in his truck to owning his own house and running a trailer park and fixing cars to make money for Jenifer and the stuff she needed.
I saw my dad at his worst. His absolute worst. I saw him having withdrawals from heroine and meth. I’ve seen him shoot up. I’ve seen him vandalize public property as a kid. Saw him threaten plenty of people that owed him money. But no matter how bad he got he NEVER put his hands on me. He was never abusive to me. Not even to Angie’s daughter Rose that had an attitude worse than Jenifer… I’m just so worried this will actually push him right back to those days.
I don’t know what to do… I feel so lost and helpless… like it’s all happening in front of me and I’m stuck behind an invisible wall I can’t get around…

Hi friend. I’m so sorry that this is going on right now but I’m so proud of you for being able to share your story. For now all you can do is keep communicating with your dad. Lean on eachother and hold eachother up. I know that it’s always hard to trust others when things are out of control, bur keep working with authorities and trust them with helping you. They deal with things like this everyday, you’re not alone. Keep fighting, keep believing and work with your dad. Your sister may be struggling with things that she is too afraid to speak about and so feels this is the only way to get people to notice. You can get through this. Keep going. You will see the light in the darkness.

Kayla

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Hey @no0dle,

I’m so sorry to hear about your situation between you dad and sister. Right now your dad needs you; do your best to stay close to him, but don’t put all of the weight on your shoulders because that’ll just create too much anxiety for you to handle (i.e. when my parents separated, I put the weight of “trying to keep the family together” onto my shoulders and it ultimately broke me). I’m proud of you for trying to find and talk to your sister; it’s too bad to hear that she isn’t reaching back, though. You’re doing all you can, and that’s what matters. Tell your dad how proud of him that you are, regarding getting clean and staying strong. Words of affirmation are incredibly important during seasons of darkness. You’re strong. Keeping on pushing on. We’re rooting for you!

-Eric

No0dle,

I’m so sorry to hear how heavy this all been for you. It sounds overwhelming and consuming. Please know that we will always be here to support you. Please keep sharing even if it’s just to clear your mind and to know there are other people here wanting to listen and support you. My thoughts are with you, your Dad and your sister.

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