Lost with anxiety and depression

Hey all,

So I’ve been battling with some pretty bad depression and anxiety from a breakup about 6 months ago. I’ve been trying my hardest to try and stay positive and get myself out of this hole but just end up keep digging myself deeper and deeper. When we broke up she told me she doesn’t want to have any contact with me. A few months ago she decided to text me out of no where and wants to try and be friends. I’m at the point where I want her to be in my life but these feelings didn’t disappear. They’re stronger than ever. Even though she has a boyfriend already. I’m really good friends with her best friend and she keeps wanting me to hang out with them. That includes my ex gif new boyfriend. I want to see my ex but not sure how I’m going to handle seeing her new bf. I’m lost on what to do. Stuck between a rock and a hard place.

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First off, welcome to Heartsupport! You’re in the right place.

My opinion, which is shaped by my experiences and may not be shared by others, is that you shouldn’t resume contact with her. Everything you said about your experience makes sense. You miss her, you want to see her, you want to be friends so you can be close to her. For me, not being able to be with my exes, seeing and imagining them with other guys, tore me up. I think it’s best to cut off the dying limb than to keep rubbing ointment on it in the hope that it will get better, when it never will. Even if she says she wants you back, the trust is gone.

As for your mutual friend, she went through her own sort of breakup when your ex left you. It splintered the friend group. It’s sad for her also. She may want the same thing, having the friend group back to the way it was and not having to divide attention or take sides. It’s not fair to you though. That doesn’t mean don’t be her friend, but it does mean you may have to sit down with her and say you can’t be around your ex. If she’s a good friend, she’ll understand, and she’ll make the time to hang out with you or even loop you in with other friends.

Losing a romantic partner is hard enough, but losing a group of friends who will support you is a loss of its own. I really hope things work out between you and your friends.

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From: I Am Reclaimer

Hey Friend, breakups suck. I’ve been through a few breakups that were the end of multi-year relationships and even have divorced. What I can say to this is that you have to find love for yourself again. It’s unhealthy to find happiness-dependence in a person other than yourself. It’s hard, but once you find love for yourself (again) the whole world supports you. Additionally, is there anything that you look forward to like a hobby or sport that you can dive into, meet new friends, and possibly a new girlfriend? As for the hanging out with the friend group - I would suggest not hanging out until you have found love for yourself again and have moved on from the breakup and made peace with it. It will just gnaw at your heart until you come to that point. Lastly - who knows, maybe her relationship won’t last too long and you two can have another shot at it? Just make sure you love yourself first :slight_smile:

From: Aces MCL36M

Hallos! Im glad you’re here to find advice : D Depression and Anxiety are really hard to deal with but can be managed. Some of the ways you can manage Depression and Anxiety is: Selflove giving your self attention caring for your self like keep doing regular tasks like showering , brushing your teeth etc , Meditation help you relax your feeling from depression and Anxiety , Therepy is always a good way to start help you control your feelings and gives you advice on how to control it. Heartsupport provides some amazing resources for this ive picked out some that I think suits your problems: Self-Care Resources - Google Drive , Depression Resources - Google Drive , Anxiety & Stress Resources - Google Drive

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