I am struggling with accepting myself. I feel as though I am insecure about who I am and constantly worry about how others would view me. I work at a retail store and sometimes the customers and some coworkers would glance over at me while I am working and I feel as though there is something wrong with me.
Another thing is when people talk to me, the words they say go into one ear and out the other, as to thinking I did not listen to them.
It sounds like your feelings of insecurity are affecting your concentration. With your focus diverted towards these negative feelings, there’s not much left that can be used for paying attention to what is being said to you. When people are talking to you, if you can, stop what you’re doing and give them 100% of your attention. I think it’ll make a difference. People usually think better of a person demonstrates a willingness to listen carefully to them.
Every now and then I see a Facebook meme, or a wall plaque that says “what other people think of me is none of my business.” I know that’s a hard concept to embrace, and it’s kind of an extreme attitude, but it does have some merit. You might notice every once in a while, people “sucking up” to those who say they don’t care what others think. It’s just one of those weird quirks of human nature. It’s kind of similar to how junior high school children seek approval from the kids who act stuck up.
Your authentic self is who you are, and that is more than good enough. You walk, talk, smile, care, have compassion and empathy, and can do any number of things. So, you are both capable and a nice person. Accept yourself as you would accept another person who was very much like you. There are people who are glad to have you in their life. Those who don’t appreciate you don’t know you. Life is too short to spend much time thinking about them.
Based on my experience of talking to thousands of people for over half a century, practically everyone has had to deal with feeling as though there was something wrong with them, or they were weird. It’s almost as though if you didn’t suspect that something was wrong with you, there might be something wrong with you.
At work, every once in a while, take a slow, deep and relaxing breath. Be mindful of the present moment and how you’re managing it, rather than thinking about what others are (probably not) thinking about you.
Take care my friend, Wings
A lot of it comes down to inner work. Time alone with yourself setting character goals.
What am I reaching for?
Who do I want to become?
Do I have a clear vision of who I want to be?
What do I dislike about myself?
Which of those things do I have power to change?
Can I accept the aspects I cannot change?
How is my self care? ( Fashion / Grooming )
Do I meditate and find peace in silence?
Do I breathe deeply?
What habits can help me build self-worth?
What would it take for me to be proud of myself?
Has my past and childhood affected my self-acceptance?
Can I work through my childhood feelings and reverse the damage?
How do I parent myself?
How do I treat my inner child?
How kind is my inner voice?
Do I practice affirmations and repeat sentences that are positively powerful?
Hi @Ed495 have you ever thought that people might be looking towards you and not really at you? That perhaps they are looking at you because there is something they like about you? Like maybe your hair looks nice or the shirt you have on is attractive? Look back at them and smile If you are having trouble paying attention when people are talking to you, I would suggest talking to your doctor. You matter! ~Mystrose
Hi Friend and thank you for your post, it truly saddens me to read your lack of self worth and esteem because I cannot imagine why you would have such a low opinion of yourself unless you have been told that you should or that someone or something has pushed you down to a level where you cant possibly believe anything else? In which case it now means that these negative beliefs have to be reversed and sadly that is harder than it was to put them there, I would start by saying that in my opinion you are a living breathing beautiful person who deserves to be loved respected and to lead a full and happy life, you are going to struggle to believe that because you need to learn to love yourself of course. I am going to put a link at the bottom of this reply to a page that talks about making a gratitude journal that specifically relates to self-esteem, it offers a few free downloads, I think it could be very interesting to at least have a read of. I really think if you could boost your self worth it would improve every other part of your life because there is nothing wrong with you except the opinion you have of you and that can be corrected. Please keep in touch and let us know if you need to talk anymore. Much Love Lisa. X
How To Build Self-Esteem - The Triple Column Technique (CBT) - YouTube
Self-Esteem Journals, Prompts, PDFs and Ideas (positivepsychology.com)
Hello, Ed495! That sounds like things I think all the time too. That when someone glances my way they are looking at me and judging me. But I’ll say what I tell myself. I look people’s direction all the time but I’m not looking at them and it’s probably the same with other people. Our eyes have to look somewhere and sometimes they look people’s direction. Try to keep that in mind? Just because someone is looking your direction doesn’t mean they are looking at you or judging you or anything.
As for the listening thing you could always try repeating what people say in your head to help you pay attention to what they say. I just learned that trick at work yesterday, haha, so I don’t know yet if it would help you but it’s a thought.
I hope that you find a way to see yourself in a better light and accept who you are. And I hope you will continue to update us on how you are doing with your self-esteem and let us keeping helping you on your journey. You are a cool person