Made my family mad at me

So, last night on new years eve I was having dinner with my mother, sister and father, we are on a family trip and stuff, even tho I am not completely into it because I dont want to be here, i’d like pretty much better stay at my home and study for the upcoming tests I have next week when college starts back.

So anyways, last night I bailed from the celebration, and now everyone is mad at me. But what they dont see is that I get easily overwhelmed with anxiety thoughts and also incredibly irritable when I am with them, my sister is like a parrot who nevers shuts up, it’s so annoying, my dad is either an angry yelling monster who makes us all feel uncomfortable or this sentimental big ass baby who is also hard to stand, and it’s very hard for me to be around him without feeling anxious, sometimes I try, sometimes like last night I dont. My mom is cool, she makes mad, and laugh, and I can sit with her in silent, or talk almost about anything.

So, we finished dinner around 11pm and I decided, to get up and go to the bathroom, and midway I decided I was going to my room, so I did, and I swear I felt so relieved when I got there, so I decided to go to bed, I didn’t want to have to stand being upset/anxious/sad and more from all these pallet of emotions just because it’s the new years eve. I’ve been having pretty bad days here, i’ve on the edge of crying in public just because I feel so fucking overwhelmed with my own thoughts, I haved dropped a few tears of sadness a couple of days in the safety of my room.

It’s so hard for me to be around them, like I just want peace, and they exacerbate my thoughts and feelings of depression and anxiety. Like I just wonder if the problem is not the way they are but the way I am, and so, so I start to question myself, and start feeling ashamed of myself, suddenly I am also angry, and it goes on and on… so I just bailed. But my dad just see an ungrateful son who turned his back to their family on new years eve. Yay I stay I go trough hell just because some stupid celebration, yay I leave then I am hated and now I have to worry about the consecuences. Fml.


Friend you are not alone. Ironically, made my family upset with me yesterday for NOT leaving the celebration when it became too much for me to handle. In my humble opinion you made a responsible, respectful, and safe choice by removing yourself from a situation that was too much for you. I envy your maturity and courage to do this. I am so sorry you are dealing with family that does not seem to understand what you are going through. If you are able, take some time when you are feeling well enough to have an honest discussion with your mom about why you needed to leave so that the next time it happens she’s will know where you are coming from. Your emotional well being is important! You should never be faulted for exercising self care as you did last night. I am so sorry you are going through this. I share in your pain and feelings of isolation. You are valid and you are not alone. Keep on, friend, I am inspired by your courage.

I mean I dont blame them for being mad, and tbh I couldnt care more if only I wasnt so dependant on my parent. But I dont have that type of relantionship with them or practically anyone, where I openly talk about myself. I am giving them the excuse that I was tired and not feeling well of the stomach, and that will have to do it. But I dont regret leaving, I feel completely fine if it wasnt that I know that my dad is angry af and he will make an scene as soon as I show up.

I’ll be seeing a therapist for the first time on my own will in a couple of weeks hopefully, so I start to work with someone about my mental issues. I hope someday work myself enough to have a healthy relantionship with my parents, which at the end of the day are not the worst parents ever, they are just human, and as any other, they made mistakes and have their own issues.

And about you being the other side of the coin, idk what to tell you buddy, try to get the best out of it, like ask yourself why didnt you leave, or was it really that bad you stayed. Smile buddy, we are all in our own journey trying to figure out how to live.

I so understand these feelings. Especially as an autistic. I get overwhelmed with any crowd really. But I very especially had issues being around my family members for many reasons and like you always needed to just step aside and take a break.

I know that it may be hard for family members to see and understand why you have to do this, but that doesn’t mean that you are wrong for doing so. I’m sorry they aren’t more understanding. I get it. you are not alone, I promise.

You are always welcome here to share and talk.

  • Kitty