Malicious rumor made me lose everyone

So I dont know if anyone will even see this but I have to just get it out and try to get help however I can. So a few months ago I lost everything. My friends, my best friend and love interest of 3 years, the only place I’d ever felt like I belonged and was needed or even wanted. Everything. This is all due to one person. She created this lie saying that I had lied to a bunch of people about each other for years in order to get what I want. She spread this lie around to everyone, including my best friend, who believed it. After trying to fight against this malicious rumor i eventually gave up and distanced myself from the entire group of people who i had previously associated with, including my best friend, who decided that I was not the person that she had known for years but rather a liar who she couldnt trust anymore.
Now, months later, I’m still reeling. I had thought that I was moving on, I even started to like a different girl, but after things started to progress she quickly decided that her and I didn’t belong together due to religious differences, despite how well we got along and liked each other. I haven’t been able to sleep at night and I have been feeling this intense but somehow dull sad loneliness that I now realize, months after the fact, that I’ve been feeling ever since this all happened. I mean this all started because of a rumor that was spread around by someone who hates me, and it wasn’t even the first time. I’ve never belonged anywhere. I’ve always been a focus of so much anger and hate.
How do I make this dull, but somehow also intense, sadness go away or fade? How do I forget about my best friend? How do I move on?


Yikes. I’m so sorry for the crud that you have had to face and deal with. I have had my share of dealing with people in my life who were liars and hurtful. Even among my own family. The situation is slightly different but I know how bad lies can hurt and how they can completely destroy lives and relationships.

It’s a crappy thing to deal with. But it sounds like these people weren’t good friends if your own best friend let someone else ruin your relationship. ):

It’s hard to forget about relationships and friendships that meant a lot to us and then we lose them. It’ll probably take time. To heal and move on.

But there is a community here that you can join and be a part of. Full of people that are often ready to offer love and support.

Are you in our discord?

You can join us there. And hang out with us in stream. Be around people who love to encourage and support one another. Sounds like a good place for you to be right now.

I’m sorry that all this stuff happened. Maybe hanging here could offer some comfort. I know it has helped me


That’s horrible. I know a bunch of kids who spread a rumor about me. Said I liked a boy. (I know that’s nothing compared to you, but listen) Now I went to a small Catholic School. All the kids made jokes about it and never left me alone. None of the other girls got made fun of as much as me. While all that was happening, my dad lost his job and we were going to have to move. (Also I am not saying to move away.) I told my two best friends about it and one teacher. The teacher told all the other teachers. I was super mad at my teacher because I didn’t want EVERYONE to know. Then one of my friends blurted it out to the whole class and my friend didn’t care that I was upset. Only one person didn’t tell every person they could. She just told her mom. Her mom was friends with my mom, but instead of talking to my mom about it she told more people. I was so mad. I was about ready to lose it and start destroying these betrayers. Then I though better of it.

What that whole little story was trying to say is even if people think they know whats going on, they never truly do. The lie about my “crush” was to say is that all people want is a reaction from you. That’s what I gave them, so they continued to believe it. Never give them the reaction they want. That only leads them to do it more. The whole thing about moving was to show that people will never talk to you directly about an issue. They are all trying to figure out what’s going on from other people and never actually talking to my family. I also want to say that retaliation is never good. When you retaliate, you never really become equal with the person. I mean look how the rumor started. Retaliation.

Stay strong and try not to let people ruin your pride.

In a way I can relate. I grew up with someone and we were best friends for roughly ten years but then all of a sudden things changed because they found out about my sexual orientation and were not happy that I choose two important life goals that didn’t fit their view of me. They shut me out from my friend group, spread rumors about me and made me out to be someone I was not. It sucked, it hurt, and I cried over it. That was two years ago and a lot has happened since. It’s going to take time for you to process this and that is totally okay. I want you to know that we are here for you and that you can say whatever you need to say without judgement. It is going to suck for awhile and that is okay. What helped me get through it is I journal, I poured myself into my goals because at the time it was helping me keep my sanity, I skateboard (big hobby of mine which also helped me connect and make friends with people) I also got involved with different campus groups and activities which allowed me to connect to people and in some ways cope and heal effectively. I am not saying you should do these things but just know that when you are ready put yourself out there whether it is doing what gets you fired up and passionate about or getting involved with clubs, groups, church or activities to help you. Again, it is going to take time to process but I want you to know that you are not going through this alone. I’m here and so is everyone else at Heartsupport.


A meaningful friend told me this, “I don’t care if your a girl, a boy, a lesbian, tomboy, or gay. I will still be friends with you.” He didn’t care about sexual orientation. All he cared was if a person was trustworthy or meaningful enough to understand.So, I can see why.

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