Managing Stressors

[sakurasangel]

My mom and I are looking to move to Connecticut. The last time we moved (a year ago) she put her stress on me and used me as a scapegoat of sorts. It’s very draining, especially when it is such a big change on its own. We are moving back across the country and I’m rather nervous about it. What if people talk too fast and I can’t process what they are saying? What if they get mad at me for asking them to speak slower? Will they think I’m a stupid Southerner?

I’m struggling applying for jobs. I’m trying to pinpoint why, and most of it is being overwhelmed. While I hate when she does it, it helps when my mom sends me jobs that I could potentially do. I just am afraid I won’t get any because I am young and don’t have any concrete experience of my own.

I’ve also started hair pulling again (have been since April or May) and I am getting more and more worried that I will get a bald spot. I did in seventh grade, which was the last time I engaged in such behavior. I can tell part of it is needing to do something with my hands as well as anxiety. I hate that I’m doing it and I keep catching myself. It’s an unhealthy addiction that I can’t make myself stop like I wish I could.

I also am feeling really horrid about my body. I weigh the most I’ve weighed again, and have no idea what to blame other than stress or something. I need to make myself exercise more, but even that seems arduous at times. I walk to and from work most of the time, so at least twice a week, sometimes more depending on if my mom picks me up over the weekends or not. It’s just… I feel awful and gross.
Not to mention I’m afraid my pants aren’t fitting (again) because I keep having sensory issues with them.

I’ve been painting a little more frequently, which does help.

I know a big part of it is that I am depressed. I can feel the episode in my being and it’s hard to combat it. I’m glad I haven’t been feeling suicidal at least. I only have one friend here and he’s not a best friend, you know?

I hope moving will give me the opportunity to make more good friends. and maybe marry a hot rich amazing guy. LOL.

In good news, one of the kpop bands I like, Seventeen, is doing a repackage of their latest album and they will have a new leader unit song, which I am SO hyped for.

In bad news, I finished my kdrama, “So Not Worth It.” I need a season 2. They left it open for one, but normally there aren’t additional seasons in kdramas. Same with “Demon Slayer.” I finished all the anime and am rewatching it again >.< After I finished my “Fair Tail” rewatch (which is 328 episodes… so worth it tho). I stared rewatching, tentatively, “My Hero Academia” because I am behind on it. So there’s that. And there’s another kdrama I could finish and another my sister thinks I’ll like.

I want to keep procrastinating and doing things that are fun, but my body acts like a clock on a bomb, telling me no no no keep going!! it’s stressful. I need to somehow hold myself accountable for it. I will ask about it in action group.

[Wings]

There’s a Kdrama on Netflix I think you’d like, “Extraordinary Attorney Woo.” I like a lot of Korean music too. My wife loves BTS. One thing I like about Kdramas is how often the villain is humanized and ultimately redeemed.

Changing locations is very stressful, especially if you anticipate culture shock. If you need for people to slow their speech down, don’t be embarrassed of afraid to ask them. If they think you’re a stupid Southerner, it’s them being stupid. There’s a lot to be said for demeanor and body language. If you make the request as though you have a right to expect it, I think most people will respectfully comply. Some may even feel a bit chastised.

This is a good time for entry level employment. I don’t know why, as the effect seems disproportionate, but somehow Covid has led to a labor shortage.

Exercise can seem arduous at times, but often the most difficult part is getting started, then it’s not so bad. Aerobic exercise oxygenates the brain, triggers “feel good” endorphins, and improves sleep. Compare it to swimming in a cool lake. Diving in is shocking, and for a minute or two, you might wish you hadn’t done it, but then it starts feeling better, and you’re glad you’re there. Exercise can lead to a “feel good” kind of tired, instead of feeling exhausted due to stress.

Regarding your weight, start by accepting and appreciating yourself exactly as you are. Feeling “gross” is debilitating. It triggers your subconscious to undermine your motivation. Besides, it’s not true. You aren’t gross. Just about 100% of your beauty comes from the inside anyway. Feeling good about yourself empowers you to make the changes you desire.

To what extent is hair pulling a problem on days you exercise? I think needing to do something with your hands is definitely part of the issue. I like the idea of painting. Have you ever thought about knitting? Any other kind of craft?

If the anxiety remains unmanageable, you should probably see your doctor and/or get a referral to a therapist. Even if you’re moving, it’s here and now that you need to manage.

Procrastination is one of my favorite pastimes! I’ve figured out a way to function anyway. One of the main ways I do it is to remind myself there’s more opportunity for stress free relaxation if I put whatever task is in front of me, behind me right away. A long running habit of procrastination won’t go away willingly. It might help to pick just one thing that you no longer want to procrastinate about. Avoid procrastinating about that one thing for a month, and you’ll be comfortable with a well established good habit. Then you can choose another procrastination target. I’ve also come up with ways to reward myself for not procrastinating. That usually takes the form of guilt free lounging around.

Checking in with the Action Group is a great idea too.

Let us know how you’re doing. Wings