I feel like im not good enough, I feel unloved and very alone, because of this i hate myself and everything about me.
Totally get that, friend…I feel similar struggles in my own life of feeling like I have to prove myself in order to be good enough…and if I’m not good enough, then I can’t be loved (I haven’t earned it), and if I’m not loved, then I’m desperately alone…and if all of this is because I didn’t do well enough, then I hate myself and everything about me too.
I totally get all of that…you’re definitely not alone in any of that.
I also have found this to be the truth: your worth is not in your performance. Your worth is in something much more fundamental than that…it’s in you…you are worthy of love because you exist…not in some cliche way, it’s just the logic of love, if love is conditional, then love is like…like is based on preference and condition…love isn’t based on conditions…you deserve love because that is what love is. Your performance be damned, you are worthy.
I believe that for you as I believe that for myself. When we believe we’re worthy, it can untangle us from the rest of the mess we’d been entangled in.