Marriage,Health & Career

Hello everyone, i chanced upon this forum while up late tonight thinking….I lament that my life is a bit challenged recently with my young child still suffering from anxiety and panic attacks, my marriage being constantly at risk, my own mental health taking a roller coaster ride and my job at risk even just after taking a big pay cut. I am worried about money and making ends meet, about my relationship with my wife who isn’t a caring type and more of a “I told you so”, about my beloved child and her health, about supporting my aged parents, and about my own mental health the resultant of all of the above.

I am a sole breadwinner on 2 jobs and with 8 lives fully dependent on me…… i feel super responsible but stressed. So much that i become visibly more short tempered and angry.

I am sad that i do not hv anyone that i am close enough to talk to, to get it off my chest or just to vent. I am sad and angry that i constantly hv to put up a brave front in front of my family and others, so as to not look weak. I do remove all my armor and quietly cry in the middle of the night and then put them back on again.

I know there are many others worse off then me but i still feel very sad and lonely.

I am sorry to rant but i dnt know what else i can do before i break too.

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Hi @Idontknowanymore,
Thank you for reaching out to us. I appreciate you taking the time to write and open up, it takes a lot of courage. I am terribly sorry to hear that you are struggling through your life at this time. Being responsible for so much whilst not having anyone else to talk this through with is really challenging. While I myself may not fully understand the scope of your responsibilities, I can only imagine how you must feel. Just know that you are not alone and that we are here to help you in the best way we can. Holding all those emotions in can have a serious toll on your mental health, as I myself learnt the hard way last year dealing with my own emotional instability. Combining this with all the people you’re currently supporting adds only more to the weight you are carrying. I am with you in your frustration in not being able to open up to the people around you and having to put on armor all of the time. I remember putting on a smile for my family all of the time because I felt a need to protect from what I was going through. I know it may feel like others out there have it worse, but comparing your pain with other people’s situations only makes you feel more of the same. I think one thing maybe that can help you currently is trying to seek professional help. Having a guiding voice can help you work through the things your feeling and maybe find a way to solve some of your issues. I know it has helped me a lot. In the mean time, please continue to write us here if you need it.

Much love,
Splash.

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