I’m struggling to pay my bills, and I hate having to constantly ask for help from my parents at 19. I’m scared the distance between my boyfriend and I, mixed with my mental illnesses, will drive him away from me. And I’m frustrated with my father’s constant hypocritical, manipulative, and childish behavior.
1 Like
Coming of age and gaining adult responsibilities is very hard. I can understand that. I have been there. Even in my old age (34) I still stress and struggle financially. So I get it. Saving money can be hard when you don’t have a lot coming in and have a lot of bills that you have to pay on. Sometimes shaving excess spending even on the smallest things can help save. Like coffee, soda, snacks…extra stuff that isn’t necessarily needed. If you shave off some of those things, and put it in a savings instead, you’d be surprised at much you can save over time.
Long distance is also very hard. Been there. I have done the long distance relationship both in and out of marriage. I had to live away from the person I was with and it can be very hard if you aren’t prepared to handle the emotional stress it can cause. It’s hard being away from those you love. Especially when you aren’t sure when you will see each other again. I also had to be long distance even in my marriage. I was military for 13 years and there was times where I would have to spend a weeks, months and even an entire year away from my spouse. So I understand the challenges that comes with.
I also understand having to live with mental illness and being afraid of losing those around you because of it. I understand the feelings of feeling like a burden or annoying. You know, I think it’s important that you are just honest and upfront with your boyfriend. Talk about what you are feeling and what you need. And listen to him and his needs and you guys can work through it together. Talking is really important. Especially in long distance relationships. Just talk about ways to help you through your mental health issues and what can get you through it. Set goals for yourselves and game plans for when you are feeling really low. I do that. I talk with my partner about the things he can do to help me when Im struggling with my mental health. So just do that. Talk about it and see what could help you guys.
Toxic parenting sucks. I know first hand. I have a very toxic mother. So I know all about the frustration, hurt and anger that comes from that type of behavior. And I"m really sorry that you are having to deal with that. It’s utter crap. If you ever want to talk about that more deeply, know that we are here to listen.
You matter. You are loved. Everything you feel is valid. I hope you know that. You are always welcome here. Okay? <3
Hold fast
- Kitty
I totally feel that, being the fact I’m 23 and I still have trouble with bills but our parents know and they love us plus they where young once so they understand completely! Long distance relationships are hard yes but they are super rewarding it keeps the heart yearning more and when you do get to see you significant other it’s so much more fulfilling, I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about 3 years 2 which was in a distance relationship because of her college but time together felt so much better especially the time we got to spend together! I’m there to with the mental illness I’m autistic and ADHD and sever anxiety doesn’t help, but the person that your with understands your conditions and they love you through it, because being in a relationship is not running from problems but fighting together to strive towards a goal. I hope I have helped you out!
Hey friend, we love you so much! I’m sorry the volume on this is so low! It may sound louder with headphones in.
1 Like