Hi,
I haven’t been on here in a really long time. In all honesty I feel awful for that.
I came back hoping for Support maybe. Last year I battled a very bad cocaine addiction alone and I’m very proud to say I’m 7 months clean of it. I feel so ashamed I put myself through that. But I’m very proud to be clean and I intend very deeply on keeping it that way.
But I’ve caught myself in an old habit of self harm. I was 2 years clean and now I’ve fallen straight back in the habit possibly worse than before. It breaks my heart to admit that and I currently unable to get therapy for the current trauma I’ve had to deal with.
Self harm has taken over my life once again due to my parents once again and I have no clue what to do.
You are amazing!! Hell yeah!!! I am so proud of you!!! 7 months is amazing!!! Don’t be ashamed, there is no shame here. We have all done, and gone through, things we are not proud of.
I am sadened that you have found yourself back in this old habit. But at the same time I an glad you are seeking help. Self harm is something that is near to me because I was once a victim of it. But there is hope. The best thing that I found, once I turned 18, was tattoos. It enabled me to release my anger and sadness and I had this beautiful piece of art when it was over. However, I understand that I cant get a new tattoo every time I think about hurting myself so there are some other things I do. Im not going to call it journaling because I dont think that’s what it is. But I have a journal for when I start having those thoughts and I just start writing words that pop into my head or scibbling obscure pictures that I think about. And I do so in a heavy manner that gets the anger, sadness, and frustration out of me. I do it until I feel better. It’s worked wonders for me. Also, I love to paint miniatures, it gets me out of my head for a long time and I have this totally badass figure I just painted. I’ll post a photo of my latest and greatest model I painted for reference.
You never have to feel awful for not being more active. Nobody holds any expectation over anyone on here. You can come and go as you want and need. <3
Hey, congrats on 7 months! That’s really great! Good for you! Don’t feel ashamed. It’s in your past now. That’s the point. You made the healthy decision to get clean and move forward. So be proud of yourself <3 It is okay to.
I know that therapy can be very hard for some of us. But you could always use this https://www.betterhelp.com/heartsupport - It’s a 7 day free trial of online counseling. Its temporary but still a worthy resource to take advantage of.
https://calmharm.co.uk/ This is a great app to use when you are feeling the need to self harm.
ReWrite is also a good resource. If you have access to Kindle Unlimited, even if just a trial, you can read ReWrite through kindle unlimited as well <3
And there is https://www.crisistextline.org/. It’s a self harm crisis text line. So when you start getting the urge to self harm, maybe try reaching out there. <3
If you need to talk about your parents and whats going on, know that you are more than welcome to friend. You deserve to be heard.
I am glad you are back on here, this is a forum you can come and go as you please <3. I wanted to say congratulations, 7 months clean is a huge step! I am glad you were able to go 2 years without self harm. Just remembering to set small helpful goals that you can accomplish can help you get through times like these and help get you back to where you were before. Also, with this extra time most people have lately I hope you can find positive outlets such as yoga, art, exercising to help express any emotions or/and any unwanted thoughts.
God bless, Jesus loves you
John 3:16 " For God so loved the world that he sent his one and only son that whoever shall believe in him shall not perish but have eternal "
