my mom just got off the phone with her doctor and she was given two options.
A- continue to receive hospice care and comfort along with oxygen and oxygen therapy
B- give up hospice and start chemo again which hasn’t been working and the doctor advises against and said she should think about quality over quantity
She’s having trouble deciding so i thought i should ask here. I think she should keep the hospice care because she seems to be doing much better now but i can understand that she could just feel like she’s giving up on her life and letting herself die. I don’t know.
update: we talked more about it and i said that i think she should choose hospice and she said she’d also leaning towards that, so we’ll see i guess
out of personal and recent experience with my grandfather who was given the same options, he was very thankful to have chosen hospice over more rounds of chemo. he didn’t see it as giving up but rather he got time to be at home with his dog and family instead of long, lonely hospital stays to get chemo.
it’s a deeply personal decision and the most dificult one to make and i’m so glad your mom has you to support her through this. regardless of what she chooses, it’ll be a rough path so please remember to also take care of yourself as much as possible through it, especially as you stay strong for your mom. sending you and your mom all the comfort and love
It sounds like you’re using your best judgment. If the chemo is ineffective, there is no upside to undergoing the treatment.
I suspect that both of you are pretty well informed regarding her medical condition and prognosis. You have probably also obtained more than one medical opinion regarding what the next steps should be.
It’s a very common belief that selecting hospice care means giving up. However, it does happen that sometimes hospice patients actually recover, and may live on for years. That doesn’t happen very often, but over the years, I have seen it several times.
A person can choose to quit hospice whenever they want. Sometimes that happens as well. Aggressive medical interventions, such as chemo, will occasionally shorten an individual’s life. Once in a while, a person will stop taking all medication, fully expecting that to hasten the conclusion of their life, only to find out that without the medication they started feeling better.
Hospice isn’t really about “letting” a person die. It’s more about choosing quality of life and dignity, also making the choice to be at home with family and loved ones rather than in a hospital and quite possibly on life support.
Drs. certify a patient to receive hospice care, when they believe that an individual’s medical condition indicates probable death within six months. However, some people remain on hospice for years. It’s perfectly okay when that happens.
I have provided care for the dying in both hospice and non-hospice situations. Based on what I have witnessed, the hospice patients receive much more support and care than those in a more traditional clinical situation.
If it becomes necessary, hospice can provide medical equipment as needed, also assistance with personal care.
Stay in touch.
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