After discuss with my therapist Wednesday night we decided I should do a pre and a post journal on days that I meditate and on my off days to just record how I’m feeling the next day. So.
Today I’ve been pretty anxious about not effectively communicating the boundaries I have with myself to another person. For example putting myself first and making sure I don’t slip back into old habits and become toxic. I felt like I didn’t explain that well enough to a potential partner and had to restate and explain in a different way. And I followed up with what I was afraid of. I was afraid of not communicating effectively causing this person to feel like I was pushing them away and in turn end with them leaving. Big jump I know, but that’s what anxiety is. More simply put, I’m afraid of abandonment while I heal.
Hopefully today’s meditation session will help finish resolving my anxious feeling and help with some inner peace. I do feel better having talked through my anxiety with this potential partner and don’t feel any judgement or resentment.