It’s been 3 months since my ex gf dumped (over something trivial) and I met up with her a couple days ago because she would NOT STOP contacting me and wanting to speak to me in person because it was “something I wanted to hear.” It was really tough to meet up with her because she really fucked me over. She is very manipulative and always got what she wanted from me, whether how the day went to even sex. She is an alcoholic who would tried to shove alcohol down my throat and go along with her drunken nights. She mentally abused me by saying hurtful things like she could find someone who does nice things & I am not the only one, or I’m not walking outside with you looking like that. The WORST! is her cheating on me with someone I KNEW! was toxic as well and almost kept that secret from me for a month…yet I still loved this girl and had gave her a chance because I did not want to lose her.
So now flash forward to this meeting, it was tough for me to look at her. I did my best to keep my composure and show no “weak” emotions such as crying or anxiety. All she wanted to say was she was sorry for how things ended, but not for the break up itself. She could of handled it differently or whatever, but that honestly disappointed me as I came into that situation assuming she just wanted me back or had somewhat FINALLY changed. It was nothing like how my mind planned it out. All I got from this meeting was she is still the same fucked up person who won’t change her toxic ways, has a new bf who is okay with her sleeping around so an open relationship & even if she wanted to be with me and fix things, she has no time due to her new busy job. I thought though to myself you aren’t busy for this new person, but it just showed me how sad this situation is. She had her regrets with me as I asked her & has missed me on some days, but it’s nothing that can promise a future for us. In the end, this person wants a friendship with me because I’m “valuable” to her and doesn’t want me to be mad at her…It’s tough as I gave in and said sure, BUT! with boundaries as far as I don’t want to know anything from this guy & to not disrespect me or I’m done.
What is more CONFUSING, is she texted me after we departed from one another & she said she felt worse after the meeting than before. She believed she deserved it though, the feeling. Then she went on to say she just feels confused, but at that moment i had to be strong & replied with “You will figure it out” It was tough because I wanted to know what was going on her head, but it seemed I did the right thing there as I will not go into asking her what’s wrong when it’s not my business anymore if she has this new bf. I just feel like she will text me again & I don’t know what to expect. I’ve just been feeling really down & hopeless as it’s tough to lose someone who meant a lot to me DESPITE all the bad shit she put me through…call me stupid, but i guess that’s what love does to you…
thanks guys for hearing me out & all advice or assumptions are welcomed here.