Met up with my toxic ex gf

HeartSupport Support
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It’s been 3 months since my ex gf dumped (over something trivial) and I met up with her a couple days ago because she would NOT STOP contacting me and wanting to speak to me in person because it was “something I wanted to hear.” It was really tough to meet up with her because she really fucked me over. She is very manipulative and always got what she wanted from me, whether how the day went to even sex. She is an alcoholic who would tried to shove alcohol down my throat and go along with her drunken nights. She mentally abused me by saying hurtful things like she could find someone who does nice things & I am not the only one, or I’m not walking outside with you looking like that. The WORST! is her cheating on me with someone I KNEW! was toxic as well and almost kept that secret from me for a month…yet I still loved this girl and had gave her a chance because I did not want to lose her.

So now flash forward to this meeting, it was tough for me to look at her. I did my best to keep my composure and show no “weak” emotions such as crying or anxiety. All she wanted to say was she was sorry for how things ended, but not for the break up itself. She could of handled it differently or whatever, but that honestly disappointed me as I came into that situation assuming she just wanted me back or had somewhat FINALLY changed. It was nothing like how my mind planned it out. All I got from this meeting was she is still the same fucked up person who won’t change her toxic ways, has a new bf who is okay with her sleeping around so an open relationship & even if she wanted to be with me and fix things, she has no time due to her new busy job. I thought though to myself you aren’t busy for this new person, but it just showed me how sad this situation is. She had her regrets with me as I asked her & has missed me on some days, but it’s nothing that can promise a future for us. In the end, this person wants a friendship with me because I’m “valuable” to her and doesn’t want me to be mad at her…It’s tough as I gave in and said sure, BUT! with boundaries as far as I don’t want to know anything from this guy & to not disrespect me or I’m done.

What is more CONFUSING, is she texted me after we departed from one another & she said she felt worse after the meeting than before. She believed she deserved it though, the feeling. Then she went on to say she just feels confused, but at that moment i had to be strong & replied with “You will figure it out” It was tough because I wanted to know what was going on her head, but it seemed I did the right thing there as I will not go into asking her what’s wrong when it’s not my business anymore if she has this new bf. I just feel like she will text me again & I don’t know what to expect. I’ve just been feeling really down & hopeless as it’s tough to lose someone who meant a lot to me DESPITE all the bad shit she put me through…call me stupid, but i guess that’s what love does to you…

thanks guys for hearing me out & all advice or assumptions are welcomed here.

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My advice is RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN!!! she is dangerous and she is mentally, emotionally and psychologically unstable. She can kill you or get you killed or worse get you in trouble in the law. I don’t know if she is a beautiful woman or what but being with a woman that is good in bed isn’t worth it in the end. I can tell you from my own personal experience I rejected a woman sexually and she come this psycho woman from hell she was on a mission to destroy me it was a nightmare. I hope you find the strength to resist her. change your number, block her on social media if possible move from where you if you can.

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Hey Mr_Synister7,

First I want to say welcome to the support wall. I am so glad that you are here, and I’m so glad that you came to the support wall, and opened up about part of your story! You are so loved, and valued, and your story matters. We are here to walk along side you through whatever you’re going through, and to encourage you!

I hear your story, and I see your pain my friend. This situation never easy. Because no matter how bad someone hurts you, if you loved them, even if you feel like you don’t love them now, there’s still those emotions there. I struggle with this with my ex boyfriend. He was abusive, he was manipulative, he cheated on me, but man I still love him.

It’s hard to just walk away! I’m not going to tell you that it’s easy. And even though it’s been three months since the breakup I’ll tell you that pain is still so real. I’ve been broken up with my ex boyfriend now for 16 months, and have had a boyfriend since then (we aren’t together anymore either), but I still cry over him. There’s still nights I look back on our messages, or the letters he wrote me, and I just cry.

But what’s most important here is for you to know your worth. You are worth more. You are worth love, you are worth a healthy relationship, you are worth finding a man/women who will love you, respect you, I know after the situation with my ex I really struggled to believe those things, and I still do. But it’s so important for you to know that despite all of that you have worth.

The hardest part is this… and it’s something that I struggle with still to this day, you’ve got to let her go. Blocking my ex was one of the hardest thing I would say I’ve ever done, I mean blocking anyone for that matter. But there comes a time where you have to let them go, so you can begin to heal.

I want you to know that you are in my prayers, and I’m here for you! You are loved, your life matters, your story matters!

Hold Fast, You’re Worth It,
Monkey

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hey @Mr_Synister7 ,
thanks for posting we hear you !
I know its hard when you get out of a toxic relationship with someone and they contact you to meet up with you when you still feel like you may have feelings with them . Tbh with her being really toxic , your better off with out her , There are many different fish in the sea. You will find another girl . Not all girls will be toxic . I wish the best for you friend!
Hold fast!

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Hey buddy. Basically my advice would be to stop responding. She sounds an absolutely horrendous person for what she done to you. From manipulation all the way to cheating on you. You deserve to be treated far better than that. And what it seems to me is that she took advantage of someone with a very caring sort of nature. Honestly though you need to step back and think this. If she treated you this badly as a girlfriend. Then the chances are she’ll try to treat you this badly again as a friends. As for her being able to contact you still, maybe block and then delete her off of all social media and her number. I know this seems drastic and maybe somewhat cruel (and if you’re the caring sort of person I think that you are, you may feel very conflicted with this advice) but it will genuinely help. It will stop any heartache remaining for you, but it will also benefit you in the long run. Mainly as you’ll be able to regain yourself again. Have time to be yourself. And then be able to move on and find someone that does know how to treat you and will appreciate and respect you for the person you are!

Anyways, I hope this helps mate! Peeeeace :grin::metal::metal:

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Thank you so much Ashley. It has been a difficult journey for me & I appreciate your kind words. I am doing my best to stay away from this person & seeking professional help.

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Thanks dude! Your words cut deep in a good way. You are totally right when it comes to it she treated me like shit as my gf, what makes me think it’ll be any better as “friends” It’s like that saying if they didn’t respect you when you were together, why would they respect you after. You are also right that it’s tough to block her again after I have done this & then unblocked when it came down to this meeting, but I know I’ll find the strength to do that again. Thanks again!!