Mi infancia no es pasada


I am still a kid despite whatever you think

I am only in 9th grade

how am I not a child

I’m such a child that I cry

I cannot control myslef

I cannot just stop crying when you count to five

I am still a child

Childhood is the precious thing I hold on to

Telling me I’ve already lost that breaks my heart

Shatters it into billions of peices

Because to me, to lose childhood is practically the equivilent of death

am I not still a kid?

Is my childhood truly over?

Is it not mine to decide when I feel like I’ve grown up?

My body is not even finished with puberty!

I am just like a preteen physically and mentally

still a child

is this when childhood ends? when puberty begins?

I never thought so.

Am I wrong?

Am I not a kid?

Is my childhood over?

Is it past?


What is it about childhood you want to keep embracing?

Freedom from responsibility? I get that. I still want that. In the meantime, from about as soon as you can talk, others are urging you to be responsible. Often can be overbearing and overwhelming. If you’re experience is like mine, grownups demanded it without bothering to explain how to do it.

Does it have to do with innocence?

Childhood innocence is based on inexperience, is fragile and often lost far too soon. There’s also a child’s wisdom, perception that comes naturally before the world causes confusion.

I didn’t have a childhood, other than physically, and even my body was used against me. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I figured out how to set adulthood aside and for a time, and be a child.

There’s innocence of childhood, not chosen, but easily taken away.

There’s also innocence by choice. It’s a choice made after experiencing the darkness in life and choosing to keep light within yourself.

I think you’ve done that many times. Chosen innocence involves empathy, compassion, and a willingness to share love. You’ve demonstrated all those things. Your heart has risen above the world that surrounds you, and that has touched me in a profound way.

You will face increasing pressure to do “adulting.” Please set aside some time to enjoy well-deserved “childing.” In truth, that will make you better at “adulting.” Hang upside down from the monkey bars, act silly, watch cartoons, or do whatever play that makes you happy. You can’t do it all the time, but enjoy it when you can.

Playing increases the capacity to learn, and makes the learning more worthwhile.

Part of being a well balanced adult is retaining a measure of childhood.

You are a kid. Be a kid whenever you can. Inside you is both a kid and someone who’s quite advanced in the capacity to care about others. That’s a good thing. Please don’t change those parts of yourself.

Message me if you ever wanna talk. Wings


“Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.”

By now, your peers are probably starting to act more grown up. No more toys, new music, obsession with sexual attraction. The world is urging your age group to “grow up,” and peer pressure is reinforcing it. Even if you hear an adult say “enjoy this time,” people your age dismiss it.

I heard a speaker once who talked about a distinction between childish and child-like. Maturity and silly fun don’t cancel each other out. He demonstrated that in a video where he paid to feed a giraffe in a zoo, and held the cracker in his mouth. There’s no rule saying not to, so why is it forbidden?

There are no rules saying you have to grow up, be an adult, reject the things that make you happy. Be yourself, completely and unapologetically. It might be tough in middle school (spoiler alert, everybody struggles in middle school), but by the time you get to high school, people will start to respect you for being true to yourself. Don’t grow up too fast, you’ll have 60 or more years to be an adult. You’re doing just fine where you are now.


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