Might just give up university

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i really think i should just give up university, it just so difficult when you have no friends to help you out with it and you can’t ask anyone for help, it took me 3 days to solve 1 simple math problem, and then there are 5 that are much more difficult than the first one, and also it has time limit.
also the courses are expensive and i need to somehow find a way to earn money to pay for them because if not me than no one will.

anyway i thought i’ll just give it up and become a temporary music artist instead, maybe if i’ll do it, i’ll somehow manage to earn enough money without having to talk with people :smiley:

i feel like it’s extremely risky though because there are no guarantees that i’ll succeed, also i still have to learn a lot before making decent songs, but without university it’ll be much faster.

anyway it probably just a nice or maybe dumb thought

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You shouldn’t give up! This is a huge opportunity to push yourself to your highest strength. You need these kinds of things in life to be able to survive in the future. There are going to be struggles, and in this case, you could try and make some new friends! I know its hard to make new friends sometimes but its best to try. Just think about how happy you’ll be when you graduate compared to how sad you might be from dropping out. Just hold on! :heart:

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Hi Kanade,
thank you for reaching out. i can imagine that university is difficult, and not easy at all.
are there communities or also online communities for students ? or some learn circles at your local area ?
that is where you might can look into, for some help to learn.
music is always good, and also you found passion at something what is amazing to see, stick with that.
can imagine how difficult all of this is for you, so give yourself some time to reflect on your situation. maybe write
some things down, to visualize that.
i think with learning stay focused with it and you will do great. life is full of obstacles and you have come far and
you are doing really good my friend.
you are loved and you matter most. :purple_heart: feel hugged

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Whats up Kanade?

This is actually a pretty hot topic that has grown within the last few years.

In my previous job I worked with Universities around the United States as a consultant to modernize and adapt to the needs of the economic work force, while appealing to individuals going to school. I say this, because you’re definitely not alone in the idea of quitting university. Universities also recognize this because the value of a degree has significantly lost its value unless you going into medicine, engineering, etc.

Without harping on the points of finding tutors, study groups, etc. I’ll just get straight to the point.

Getting a degree doesn’t guarantee you will find work or be successful. Read this one again.

Either decision you make is risky and it ultimately boils down to what skills you develop to make yourself marketable to what ever industry you find yourself in. Some of the richest and most influential people in the world dropped out of college or didn’t even go (Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerburg, Steve Jobs - Jobs had a poultry 1.6 gpa when he graduated high school) . There are a lot of homeless people who hold masters degrees. But the opposite is also true. Consider that.

Then there’s people who either don’t go to university right away or drop out, and later in life realize what they truly want / need to do and get a degree specifically for that reason (I did this). The Vice President I worked under at Gartner, ( Gartner | Delivering Actionable, Objective Insight to Executives and Their Teams ) a multinational and multi-billion dollar technology research and consultancy firm, didn’t have a degree and was brining in a handsome $240k a year. He did work his ass off though.

It’s a joke that our society expects 17/18 year olds to somehow know exactly what they want their life to be for the next 80 years. Not to mention a staggeringly high % of individuals go into crippling debt in order to go to school, only to find out that what they spent thousands on something that sucks their soul from them. This leaves them with crushing debt that leaves them being a “wage slave” for decades.

Thus, I want to ask yourself a question and to be incredibly honest with yourself.

WHY are you going to university?

What degree are you pursuing and how will it help you?

If music is your passion and the thing that ignites your soul, DO it. but you also seriously need to develop and learn skills that make you marketable so that you can support yourself financially. (supporting yourself financially has a myriad of positive psychological benefits that come with it. No matter what you do, you can always do music and make something of it. What I will say, though, is trying to make it by on just your passion right away is EXTREMELY hard. Be prepared for struggles if you choose this path.

I want you to take some time to reflect on the above info and consider these things.

in the meantime, here’s some info for you to read on this topic.

You’re on your own journey and the decisions you make do influence your future, but it’s important to be happy along the way.

Hope this helps, friend.

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I would like to advise you in the same vein as @I-Am-Reclaimer. I was in secondary education for 6 years. In that time, I earned an associate’s degree at community college, and spent 4 years at 2 universities beating my head against a wall. I believed what I had always been told, that without a degree I wouldn’t be able to earn a decent living. Eventually though, it became too much to bear, and I dropped out because I knew I would implode if I kept going. Fast forward 10 years, I have a great career in engineering, making as much money as my degreed peers. It took time, I had to rely on luck to get better jobs, and I had to work hard, but my journey has been really rewarding.

You can overcome the challenges of getting a degree following a path that’s mapped out for you, or you can overcome the challenges of getting ahead without a degree while carving your own path.

Here’s the thing–school will always be there. Your credits don’t expire. You can always go back when you’re ready. Right now, it doesn’t make sense for you to pay for school out of your own pocket if you’re too burned out to thrive. Take a break, get a job, make some of your own money, and pursue music. Live life on your terms for awhile. Either you will figure out that you want a degree, and get an idea of how you want to map out the rest of your education, or you will find a rewarding and fulfilling path in the working world that works for you!

Even today, I know I always have the opportunity to go back to school and pick up where I left off if I feel the calling. We are led to imagine that dropping out is the worst thing we can do, but the reality is that it’s virtually risk-free since you can pick right back up. Right now, you’re throwing good money after bad trying to force yourself through school and making yourself miserable. I can’t guarantee you won’t also be unhappy in the working world, but at least you’ll be earning money for your work instead of spending money to work (because let’s face it, school is hard work).

Another option is to go to school part time and work full time. I did go back to school for a semester, taking 2 classes while working full time in my career, and I did really well because I wanted my time to count!

I know voices all around you are telling you that you need to finish school, but you are not doomed to a path that leads to misery. You are an adult now, so you are in control of your life. Take control!

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From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ

Hi Friend, life decisions are sometimes pretty difficult to make. It sounds like you are pretty excited about doing music and it’s very brave of you to consider doing something that isn’t guaranteed to work out as you’ve said. I admire that a lot. I wish you nothing but the best and I hope that everything works out for you. I bet you will learn to make very beautiful music. You matter! ~Mystrose

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Friend, Thank you for posting. It sounds like you have already made your decision pretty much and the only suggestion I would have for you as an older person is that as long as you can take care of yourself, do what makes you happy. You are young and have such a long life ahead of you, you can try different things. Experience everything you can in life. I wish you so much luck. Lisa x

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From: Mamadien

kanade, thank you for coming in to let us know how you are doing and feeling as you study at university. University can be very hard, and not everyone finds it easy or enjoyable. I found that I had to take a year off from school to realize what I truly wanted to do and to have the ability to learn in school. I don’t have a big degree but I studied what I loved. Take some time to think through what you would like to do, what you can do now and what may be some different ways to get there. Reclaimer gave you great advice. I just want you to know that there are no dumb thoughts. I wish you well in deciding your path forward.

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Hey Kanade,

You face a choice any many, many others have/are facing right now. Choices like “should I study or work?” “What should I study or work at?” “How do I get started / move forward with my choice?”. These are very normal struggles to face. They are not dumb thoughts. You are putting in the effort and due process in looking to see what is right for you. There is very sage advise already posted here, so I’ll let that speak for itself. But I encourage you to keep challenging and looking into what you want, your options, and abilities. What ever choice you make, work hard at it. And make sure you take time to work on yourself, too. You Matter, friend.

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that’s exactly what i needed to hear…

my parents expect that i finish university and i don’t want to disappoint them, i also don’t want them to get angry at me, i told them that i have hard time with university and all i heard from them is “what? but you sit home all day and you have no work, how is that hard for you?” or “then spend more time on learning” or “but i want you to get a degree”…

i wanted to scream when i heard that, but i can’t, i always keep everything inside and let it eat me.
anyway so i’m pretty much alone in this.

but realizing that i’m an adult now, i can just don’t listen to them and instead listen to myself and study music 24/7 instead burning myself out with unfair universities hw 24/7.

and who knows maybe i’ll somehow succeed, hopefully.

thank you both @SheetMetalHead and @I-Am-Reclaimer so much! it does make me feel a bit better knowing that i can still make decent living without having a degree

and thank you all for the other replies as well!

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Hello @Kanade !

I’m sorry to hear about your academic struggles. University is hard, especially financially for a lot of people. Have you tried looking into tutoring? Or a site like khanacademy to help support you through difficult subjects? Maybe next semester, taking less classes might also help in the long run. Yeah, it’ll take you a bit longer to graduate; but your workload will be less, and it will be fundamentally less stressful.

For doing temporary music, you can still do something like that on the side! If you find that you need courses on music, there’s sites that offer free courses if you just want learning experience. I’m doing some for art right now.

Maybe using a worksheet like this one provided below can help you identify stress and the heightened emotions from it:

introduction-to-stress-management-1
introduction-to-stress-management-11700×2200 105 KB

Here is a resource on unhealthy vs healthy coping mechanisms: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Coping Strategies (Worksheet) | Therapist Aid

Here is another worksheet about exploring stressors:

https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/stress-exploration

I’m hoping at least some of what I talked about is beneficial for you. Please keep us updated. Rooting for you in both your academics, and hobbies!

Take care, friend.

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Hello Kanade,

There have been a lot of good replies already but I’ll just add a few comments as someone who took several math and music classes in college (and let’s just say that I don’t recommend doing what I did to handle the stress). Since you mention earning money as a music artist, I will say that in my experience I found that music required proficiency at the edge of the bell curve compared to other fields for the same earning power. My first job out of college was in a STEM field, and I was flabbergasted that my salary in my first year out of college with a B.S. degree was about the same as my college piano professor that had a DMA (music equivalent of a PhD) according to the published salary info of the public university that I attended. If you are phenomenally talented and/ or passionate about music, music absolutely could be the right choice for you. However, if you have financial concerns, it might help to talk to someone who has achieved the path you’re hoping to take for a more complete understanding of what sacrifices, rewards, etc. it might entail so that you can make the most informed decision possible.

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