Miserable and alone

i have a lot that i could say but i’m too exhausted to explain right now. the short of it is that i lost my girlfriend of 10 months. i’ve never felt so connected to someone before but now she’s fucking gone. everyday since has just been me wanting to die. i have no hope, no future, no nothing. she’s left a giant void in me that no one will be able to fill. i only want her. i only want us. i have no reason to keep going without her. everything reminds me of her. this is hell. i just want out.


Yes, that’s how it feels. It’s super hard to cope, but it can’t help but get better for you. It takes time, but you can survive. There was a time when this person wasn’t in your life. You were okay then. Had you and this girl stayed together, the two of you would’ve grown increasingly distant. That’s what happens when the other person isn’t right for you. It may have felt right for a while, but that she’s gone is clear evidence that the relationship wasn’t sustainable. It’s hell to be forced to let go of a hoped for relationship, but you’ll never find the right person if you’re emotionally invested in the wrong one.

I’ve experienced loss that left me as a death wishing wreck for almost a year. I decided I’d never get into another relationship. Then I got into one. That was about 30 years ago, and we’re still happy together.

This sounds like your first loss of a relationship you took seriously. I’ve been through a few of them. Like I said, it hurts like hell, yet the sun will rise on another day and tiny bit by tiny bit, you’re hope will rise with it. Your heart will have a scar, but one day, you’ll be grateful that you’re with someone more compatible who makes you happy.


Hi Friend,
I’m so sorry that you’ve experienced this loss. 10 months is a long time. Of course it’s going to take time to heal from this. I know you may not believe this now, but you absolutely do have a future. And you will find the hope to go on. Grieving a loss is something that takes time. And that healing process is not linear. Do you have a therapist or anyone you trust to talk with about this loss? I hope that you do. Please know that this community is here for you.


I understand how you feel. This is one of those tough situations that requires you to take things one day at a time. Sometimes one hour at a time. Sometimes one minute at a time. It would be a good idea to see a counselor. I did that and it helped. Family and friends can help to. HeartSupport helped me a lot during my breakup. That’s how I found HeartSupport. Never forget that there are people who want to help. Support is available.


Hi jmatt,
thank you for posting, thank you for coming back to us.
that is always hard, to accept and to realize that. a breakup is so hard. the heart can be so complicated even after
that long time. in the end it is for the better, for you.
there will be other times, there will be love again, there will be bloom again in your life. at times it seems like all the
petals are falling now, now growth anymore, all black and shit.
grief is difficult, even more to explain then to witness. the heart will heal, your heart will grow again and you will see all the beauty again, that our life can offer. you are not alone in this. never.
we all experienced something similiar, we all have gone through our own worries and struggles.
you are loved and you matter most :face_in_clouds: :purple_heart: feel hugged my friend


Hey Jmatt2028 I am so sorry for the loss of your relationship. Right now you are grieving this loss and its hurting like hell and if I could remove that feeling from you I would, its a feeling like no other and again I am sorry you are going through this. Its going to be difficult to say the next part because its going to be difficult for you to believe it however I want to tell you that firstly you absolutely do have a future, you absolutely have hope, the feeling you now have will improve and eventually you wont feel like this, one day you will realise that you havent thought about your ex all afternoon, then you will notice you havent thought about them all day and so it will go on until you will have moved on, then you will allow yourself to meet new people. Sadly it takes time though and thats the tough part. That giant void needs to heal and it will believe me. I dont want you to hurt yourself what I would like you to do is take care of yourself until you are ready to move forward. We are here for you. Lisa x


Hey Jmatt

Heartbreak is amongst some of the most intense feelings I have ever felt in my life. It’s in a lot of ways similar to losing the life of a loved one. Grieving is a process that is very individualized, and I know that despite anything I could say. The pain will still be there, for now. Time, and perspective can curve the pain, but even after multiple long term heart breaks. I believe the pain, for me, to still be just as intense in the initial moment, and for a period of time after that moment. It’s just what I do with the pain that has changed, and the way I view the pain has changed. Fighting through the pain is never fun, but it always leads to growth.

You have you. Find the things you are passionate about, the things that make you tick. The things that you would choose to pursue no matter what relationship you have, and with who. Take the void that you have now, and fill it with that passion. Grow that passion into something so large, that there is no longer room for there to be a void ever again. I think that sometimes driving emotions into self growth can be a very useful form of coping for myself personally. Regardless, we are here, and thank you for sharing with us! - Thrice