Really missing my dog lately. Like… there’s a void everywhere I turn where he should be. He was 21 when we lost him. He was put to sleep after a bad seizure. I really miss him. How am I supposed to get over the loss of a pet, a family member, that’s been with me for 21 years of my life? I’m tired of being told “It gets easier”. No it doesn’t. Nothing ever gets easier, you just learn to deal with it. But that’s what I’m struggling with.
Then after losing my dog, I lose a friend to cancer and a friend to suicide? I don’t know how to deal with any of it. I really don’t.
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No, it doesn’t get easier. It becomes familiar, that ache, that hole. I get it. Grief is awful. It’s like this big, dark, hulking leviathan that just tries to grab you and pull you under. I am so sorry for your losses. I think doing something to remember them will help. Whether it’s reaching out to others who knew them, or making a donation in their memory, actively doing something to help others helps the soul heal. I know it’s not easy, but surviving trauma and heartache is something we all deal with. You’re not alone. Many hugs, friend. -Valeri
Hey love.
I’m so very sorry for your losses. It is incredibly violent and shocking to see people you love being taken away like this. Missing your dog and your friends is absolutely normal, logical, human and valid. These are very painful circumstances, and you are more than allowed to give yourself all the time you need to mourn. Composing with the absence of someone is a tough process that requires so much patience and grace. Know that all you feel and will feel is always valid under such circumstances.
The pain remains. But as you say, we learn to live with it. There’s a before and an after, and grieving is about learning to give a different place to the ones we love but are not with us anymore. So, slowly, the pain can also be balanced by all the good memories that we have of our loved ones. They’re still part of you. They will always be.
I’m sending hugs your way. Be gentle with yourself, friend. 
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