Back in high school I had the perfect life. Don’t get me wrong, I had severe family issues at home, but socially I really had it all. I had a good head on my shoulders, straight As, never partied or tried drugs or anything, was a leader at church, a leader in band, was dating my best friend, had a great group of friends. I had a great relationship with my mom and had a car and job that I really liked. Now I’m in college and feel like I have absolutely ruined my life. I don’t even know if I believe in my religion anymore, got an std from sleeping around while I was SEVERELY depressed. I mean, some things are still good. I still have a good job with coworkers that I love. My boyfriend also works there with me and it’s nice seeing him every day. We just bought a house and we have a really, honestly beautiful dog. I don’t have friends though, just my boyfriend. Pretty much everyone, including my mother, hates me. My depression and anxiety made me feel like I needed to burn bridges with everyone in my life and I’m honestly so lonely, always. My boyfriend is really great but sometimes he makes me feel so bad and I hate that. (Please don’t tell me to leave him, he’s really a great dude. Just has a few things he’s working through mentally.) All I want to know is at what point in my life did everything go wrong? How the hell did I get this depressed. 
hey hope
ive been there multiple times your life flips around faster than you can process it everything moving so fast yeah it sucks but with everything there is a balance how i got through it was taking the reins but at the same time leaving room for some change its unavoidable
take control of the things you can and let the universe sort the rest and dont leave your boyfriend be there help him love him and he will return a favor id bet money on it its basic human psychology
we cant go back to the glory days of high school BUT we can look back and nostalga and learn a thing or two to help us in the now
hope this helped
-C
Hope,
just know who you are is who YOU are. im sorry your own mother hates you. just know you are still you and youll will still ber loved no matter what and we will be your friends if no friends are around