I am going through a separation with my spouse and have lost a lot of friends. I made a lot of mistakes, but I’m working on self-forgiveness and growth. It’s probably irrational, but I feel irredeemable and pretty alone right now.
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Im so sorry to hear about your separation love. As for your friends, maybe they just need time to come around and if they don’t, they weren’t meant to be in your life anyway. Humans are not meant to be perfect. We are meant to have faults and make mistakes. Its how we learn. What matters most is what you do from those mistakes. You speak of redemption and how you don’t think its possible but it is. You speak of forgiveness and growth and those are attainable. You prove that just by coming here and sharing your story. You want to do better, be better and you are taking the steps to do so. You are a loving and caring soul, because of that you are absolutely redeemable and you are 100% not alone. I know it may feel that way right now but try your best to push those thoughts out. We are here for you. You are not alone. <3
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I’m sorry to hear about your separation; situations like these are never easy.
I feel that it’s important to remember that we all make mistakes and nobody is perfect. You can certainly redeem yourself, it’s never too late. It’s great that you are working on self-forgiveness and growth rather than resigning to punishing yourself and giving up.
Your feelings are valid, but know that you are not alone here. I think we all know what it’s like to feel alone and so the community does a great job of supporting each other genuinely. Sharing your thoughts and seeking support was a great step toward your goals of self-forgiveness and growth. We’ve all got you’re back here. Best wishes friend, you have the strength to make it through this, and on the days that it becomes too much, we will be here cheering you on.
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It’s okay to feel how you feel, friend. Being through a separation and losing friends are major changes in your life. It’s okay if it affects you and it’s okay to say it. Sometimes our mind knows what’s true but our heart doesn’t follow. Feeling, healing, is a slower process than knowing and understanding. It’s okay to take your time and give yourself all the grace you need to rise again.
Mistakes can happen to anyone. And it’s hard not to let ourselves drowned into a lot of regrets and shame. Yet it sounds that you’re doing a lot to find this restoration that you deserve. Which is awesome! But if you ever need to discuss about what happened, feel always free do to it here, friend. No judgment at all, only love and support for you.
There’s a video on the HeartSuport Youtube channel that truly warms my heart and I’d like to share it with you. I hope this could bring a smile to you today:
All the love to you. We believe in you. And you are not alone. 
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You are far from irredeemable. You are worthy of forgiveness. Be patient with yourself.
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I have felt as you feel. I often feel irredeemable as well. But I know that we’re both worthy. Mistakes are human. Grief is allowed. The trick is to give ourselves permission to BE.
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It’s valid to feel you’re drifting after a major relationship is ending - especially when you lose friends over it. Your path of growth and healing is just beginning, and it’s OK to make new friends who support that vs friends who support the “old you.” I’m going through a divorce right now as well, and there’s definitely a “his and hers” friends feel to it, which sucks big time. Sounds like you are working on you, which is amazing. Know that you are not alone, and this community is here for you!