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Mommafoxfire Fan #6

I live with room mates who don’t give two shits about taking care of anything. They pay their share of the bills late, don’t clean, don’t communicate. It’s like cause I’m the only girl they will just leave it for me, which I do take care of things, but why am I the only one who cares? I feel really shitty about myself when I do clean up after them - messes or bills or w/e - but I do it anyway. Why can’t I just let it go? Why can’t they step up? Why is it up to just me? It’s not fair.

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You’re right, it’s not fair, and it’s perfectly OK for you to feel that and express it. Sounds like you’re the “mom” of the housemates, which is probably not something you signed up for when you started rooming with them. I felt this way a LOT with my ex partner - it was very much “up to me” - and he legitimately would tell me “that’s a mom job” so often. Have you communicated with them how it makes you feel? My therapist at the time advised me to just stop cleaning up after my ex and my kids for a week. It was hard, I didn’t make it to a week, but some of the message got through to my kids at least and they really did start helping more around the house with less complaining/whining. I’m sorry you’re in that situation, I hope they listen to you. <3

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Sounds like your roommates need a reality check from their own mothers… I hate that this type of work always falls to women. It sucks to feel like you’re the only responsible one. I hope your roommates are able to start pulling their own weight soon, it really shouldn’t all fall to you!

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