I was put on a pip at work. I can’t hold any jobs for longer than 6 months. Why does my depression sabotage me?
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Hey friend, I’m really sorry, this sounds to be a stressful situation to be put in. It’s like there’s expectations from your hierarchy to “prove” what you’re able to do, your effectiveness, while you certainly don’t need this kind of challenge right now. I hope with all my heart that the culture at your workplace is a positive one, where this kind of process could be at the benefit of employees first. But I understand that this certainly feels like you’re being tested and about to be judged.
I don’t know if they’re aware of your depression at your workplace, but we’re aware of it here. And man, it’s not a small battle. I’ve been struggling with depression for too many years now. I know how draining, exhausting, isolating a depression can be. And I know how much strength it requires us to gather on a daily basis, just to do things that are supposedly “normal” to anyone. You are SO strong, friend. Especially since you keep working, that’s awesome. And I really want to emphasize your bravery here. These battles may seem invisible to a huge part of our society, even our beloved ones, but I see it, I see you, and I can tell that besides what’s going on at your work, you are doing a great job because you keep going on. And that’s such a huge accomplishment, something you can be proud of!
I hear what you say, this feeling that your mental health is sabotaging you. Man, I feel that in my heart. It’s so hard to dedicate so much efforts for your well-being, for not being an outsider in this society, for being accountable, responsible, yet having this kind of obstacle that keeps arising and make you feel like you can’t progress.
Friend, regardless of the outcomes of this situation right now, I want to remind you that you have worth just by being you. Your capacity to keep a job for one week or ten years will never change that. You’re existing, you’re fighting, you’re incredible! There’s no job, no procedure like this one that will ever define you. I have no doubt that you’re doing your best, and that is always enough, even if it doesn’t fit to someone else’s standards at some point. You are enough just by being you.
I hope that something positive will come out of this situation, something that will bring you towards a path for growth. We’re in this with you. Here to support and encourage you through this. Hold fast.
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Hey there, thank you so much for sharing and also supporting MommaFoxFire.
It can be incredibly difficult to not only shoulder the weight of depression, but do so publicly. Especially in the work place where the expectations are often that you drone on without fault no matter how you are feeling.
We love and support you, and I hope you are taking care of yourself today. I am very interested in hearing how you are feeling, and if there is anything we can do to encourage you 
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Original poster here. I made an account just to say how awesome both of you are with the encouragement! I am not doing great but knowing there are people out there who are so selfless and supportive really makes things seem better and conquerable. Keep being amazing!
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So so glad you are here @PretendObject and it was an absolute honor to be trusted with what you are going through. Hopefully we get to hear more from you sometime, really cheering for you
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I will be praying for you. I know jobs might be tough and sometimes hard but I know you can get through this and maybe keep a job longer. I also am a tad scared about jobs to because I am currently looking for my first job and can’t find any that I want. But I hope and pray that your next job will be better and maybe you can ask for some help at your next job
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