Money struggles p2

my mom just backed out of getting my dad his birthday gift i’ve had planned for awhile. it was going to be me, her, and my two sisters that pitched in for it but she decided that she doesn’t want to get it anymore and i can’t put up enough money to cover it. i was already covering half of my sisters on top of my contribution and now i’m short of her entire part. i hate being poor. i’ve been looking around my room to see what if mine i could sell but i don’t really have anything besides sentimental stuff. this sucks. i just wanted to get him a gift he would actually like and appreciate. i had to tell my sisters that we weren’t getting it anymore and it was embarrassing to say that we couldn’t afford it anymore so i just made up an excuse. i was saving up money originally to buy all of my friends birthday gifts that they might like but i don’t think i’ll be able to do that either. i cant do anything. i’ve had thoughts of getting a job just to get an expensive life insurance plan since i’m young and “accidentally” dieing so my parents could have the money. why is money so important? why does a piece of paper have to define everything?

my mom backed out because she can’t afford it so it just sounds like i’m being selfish. i’m sorry


Hi echo.

I’m sorry you can’t get the gift for your dad like you wanted to.

I’m sure your dad would appreciate any gift you give him. I would almost be willing to bet your dad would like something that you’ve made moreso than something you buy.

Sentimental stuff might not necessarily have monetary value, but it does have value. It’s the sentimental stuff that you will look back on one day and be thankful that you still have it and recall all of the fond memories surrounding the item. Which kinda lends to my previous paragraph. Maybe go far a walk with your dad and tell him how much you appreciate him or go fishing together - something like that. You don’t have to spend money to give a gift of value.

You do realize that if you get a job you’ll have a steady income and will be able to help your family? Yea, you’ll have to work for it, but at some point in time, we all have to earn our way. Getting a job is a good idea.

“Accidently dieing” is not a good idea. Your motivation behind getting a job is ultimately to help your family. Killing yourself will not help them, they would probably trade that life insurance policy to have you back, assuming of course that it would pay out because people investigate stuff like that, they don’t just give money to people. You’re life is worth far more than any life insurance policy, especially to your parents. I’ve seen a lot of mothers outlive their sons and not a single one handled it very well. Just something to think about.

In the grand scheme of things, yes, money is important whether we like it or not. BUT another thing to keep in mind is the age old saying - You can’t buy love. You shouldn’t need to buy people things to prove that you love them. Money/things don’t last forever and should not be a measurement of devotion, ever.

Take some time to think about what you might be able to do for little or no money. Something personal and meaningful. Your dad will probably love it.

Hey @echo,

I’m so very sorry that money has been an issue for your family lately. I can personally count more years of my life being poor and not having the possibility to do what I want, materially speaking. But beyond any frustration that this situation can imply, the most heartbreaking for me was to not be able to get gifts for the people I love. It made me hate Christmas and birthdays, just because it was a reminder of all the things I couldn’t do, and - I though - all the love I couldn’t share. My heart goes out to you, friend. It really sucks to feel like what’s important in our life - family, friends, love overall - is impacted by something as stupid as money. It is a necessary mean in order to navigate in this wild world, but it still doesn’t really makes sense after all.

You are right to question the importance of money. I believe it’s a very healthy question as well, and so many people would agree with you that it mostly brings to unfair situations and injustice. However, if we can’t really change how the world is, we still have some flexibility in the way we can perceive it, and how much importance we give it in our personal life. Yes, money is important, and hard to walk around if we want to have a “normal” life. But also, in this situation of gifts, I’d really want to encourage you to not let money limit your view and your ability to share love. Gifts don’t have to be bought. They can be handmade… and actually, it’s generally more appreciated, as it also becomes more personal and unique. When I look around me, I don’t have much, but the most precious treasures that I own are personal notes, cards, photos, drawings… Things that came from the heart of the people I love, and remind me of them as soon as I see it. It creates a deeper connection with them and I believe a aprt of their heart is in those gifts as well. Maybe you could create something? Make a playlist to your dad with music that reminds you of specific memories with him, and explaining why? Maybe you could do some collage with photos? Write him a sweet letter? Cooking something simple? Watching a movie together? The greatest gift is often the time we spend together, and that is priceless.

Know that you are not selfish at all. Just posting here shows how much you care. None of this would be worth disappearing, my friend. Your life is valuable, but that value is priceless, because it is made of YOU, a unique human being, and a unique child and sibling to your family. You are loved dearly. Let’s make sure money doesn’t get in the way of the love you deserve, and are able to give. :hrtlegolove:

Hey Echo!

EsRivs responded to your topic today live on Twitch with some awesome words of encouragement!

Here is a link to the video so you can hear their reply for yourself

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