I don’t know why I am suddenly feeling like this again. But lately, I just have lost all interest in anything and in people. I just don’t care what people do nor what their opinions of me are. I have no hobbies, no interests. All I do is go to work, come home, wait until bedtime so I can go to work again.
Today I lost my temper at work over a minor inconvenience and remained angry because of it. I spiraled into a profound negative mood all day. In fact, I still feel this way as I am writing this. I really don’t know what triggered it. Is it something within me? Or something from somewhere else. People have noticed lately that I have been “moody” or “cranky” but I didn’t notice until they mention it. And now that they have it’s all I can notice in myself.
I think a part of the answer is in what you shared at the beginning of your post:
But lately, I just have lost all interest in anything and in people. I just don’t care what people do nor what their opinions of me are. I have no hobbies, no interests. All I do is go to work, come home, wait until bedtime so I can go to work again.
This whole description sounds to be a valid reason to be “moody” or “cranky”. It’s like nothing is bringing you joy, nothing is making life vibrant these days, so even minor inconveniences can feel overwhelming at the moment. It still raises the question “why did I lost interest in everything?” though. There may be different possibilities, and overall just a mix of different circumstances in your life. I’d say a good way to check in on yourself would be to see if your needs are adressed through at least three components that just makes us human:
Your body: how do you feel physically? Do you have any health struggles that make you feel “less” (less energized, motivated, focused…) or “more” (more tired, sad, in pain…)? Just to eliminate this possibility, it could be worth to see a doctor and have a medical check up. It’s never wasted anyway.
Your mind: you mentioned not having any hobbies or interests. Yet we are not just machines. It can be easy for everyone to get stuck in a pattern of “sleep-work-sleep, repeat”. Sometimes it happens while we’re not even aware of it, until we feel too overwhelmed, or even numb. Are there also any problems in the back of your mind that you’re likely to ruminate silently? Things you’re worried about?
Your heart: do you feel like you enjoy what you do? Whether it’s your work or outside of it. Do you feel like you have a sense of purpose, of belonging? Do you feel like what you do is meaningful to you or not? These are more “spiritual” aspects of our life, more tied to what matters to us, what is meaningful to us, what gives us this living fuel that makes us keep moving on. Missing it can also be a huge cause of feeling numb and like we just don’t care about anything anymore.
For what it’s worth, what you describe is something I relate to because of my own experience with clinical depression. If you have a history of it, or if you noticed that you feel more numb/depressed lately, less attracted by what used to be pleasant before, then it could be worth to talk about it to a doctor, if not a therapist. Loss of interest in daily activities, just like a shorter tempter at times, can be symptoms of depression. But only a doctor can provide you a diagnosis on this matter. I’d say in any case, it’s worth to be asked and seek help, just because these mood swings seems to affect you and, somehow, prevent you to live how you want. <3
Thank you to everyone who has responded. It was a great help. I will try better to express my feelings to the right people when I can. I am grateful for all of your help.
