Morbid obsession

I have liked techno and house music for most of my life now. I remember this particular song called broken record, it was my favorite song for years. It’s so ironic that my mind is strangely now like a broken record. In my first university I was morbidly obsessed with a fellow student from my group. I would always get these intrusive thoughts that haunted me all through even now…they’re still here. As I was taking my shower today my mind kept on repeating events that happened many years ago and I kept playing along until I caught myself and figured out I was just alone with myself instead. It really takes up a lot of my time especially when I’m not really hearing voices. I can barely listen to my audiobooks because of this. It’s always after a lot of time has passed that I realize what’s really going on. For almost 6 years now I’ve been having this issue. Previously it was about some other random situations but for some reason I got stuck on this guy. I try to think about the guy I’m dating to prevent this but I always still can’t help it. I’ve told a couple of people about this but nothing they say seems to help. It’s really messing me up. I most likely would never see this guy again for the rest of my life so I just feel really foolish for still obsessing about him. We were friends on Facebook until this command hallucination I had told me to tell him to get out of my f***ing life as well as to delete my Facebook. I don’t have Facebook anymore and he probably hates me wherever he is. I just need this to stop, it makes me feel depressed.

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Thank you for sharing. As a complete nonprofessional, it sounds to me like it might be a little bit of OCD. Have you talked to a therapist about it? That’s something you can learn tools to cope with and redirect.

You did the right thing by not following him on Facebook anymore. It may not have fixed the whole issue, but you set a hard boundary, and that’s a huge first step.

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