It sounds like you’ve been through a lot, and I truly admire your strength taken to navigate such challenging experiences. Music’s healing power is remarkable, offering solace and a form of escape when the weight of past trauma feels too heavy. It’s heartening to hear that it helps carry you through tough times.
Dealing with dissociation, especially as a result of a difficult childhood, is incredibly tough. This coping mechanism, while protective at times, can make it challenging to stay connected with yourself and the world around you. It’s understandable that you might feel as though your experiences have isolated you, limiting your ability to fully engage with life and connect with others. This feeling of being somewhat outside of normal experiences is a common aftermath of enduring abuse.
I’m glad to hear that you’ve taken significant steps towards healing. That’s a powerful decision and a vital part of caring for your mental health. You’re actively working towards recovery, and every effort you make is meaningful.
You mentioned doing your best to survive and be yourself—this is incredibly important. Each day you continue to push forward, you are asserting your strength and your commitment to living your life despite the difficulties you’ve faced. It’s okay if the journey feels slow or if the path forward isn’t always clear. What matters is that you are moving, that you are striving, and that you are acknowledging your struggles while also working through them.
Perhaps exploring new activities or interests could further assist in creating connections and enriching your life experience. Joining groups or classes that align with your interests, whether they’re related to music or something entirely new, can be a good way to meet new people and form connections. This doesn’t have to be a big commitment—a casual meet-up or even online forums and groups can be a starting point.
When I’m under similar situations, I found volunteering to be beneficial as a way to step outside of my own experiences and contribute to something larger. This was incredibly fulfilling for me and it helped me forge new social bonds and add to my life experiences in meaningful ways.
Thank you for sharing your journey with such openness. Please remember, your best is absolutely more than enough. You’re doing what you can to heal and grow, and that deserves acknowledgment and respect. Keep taking care of yourself, and know that it’s perfectly fine to take things one step at a time.
