At the start of August I finally had the strength to move out of my parents’ house on my own, it was an important step because my dad is highly abusive, I mean, so were my sisters, but he was the worst. I think that’s somewhat even worse now that my mum left and no longer lives there - he’s been a lot more intense…
For a few weeks, I really struggled, so badly - I was in a really bad way most nights, and I was inconsolable. Then when I got back into the work routine, things started to become OK, and I was comfortable… Thing is, these last few days, I’ve been back to square one and I don’t think I can do this anymore. I don’t know if I can keep living on my own, I’m just constantly feeling like I’m having trouble with everything. Especially finances.
I’ve gotten so much better at managing money than I was, but I still ideally need to be earning more than I am. I don’t have the energy to do the overtime tho. My job is pretty demanding physically, and even the way we’re treated by some staff is hard on mental health - it drains all of my energy by the end of a not even 4 hour shift. My depression is just eating away at my energy levels, making me too tired to function, so a second job would just be too much for me to handle. Last time I tried to push myself more than I’m pushing myself right now, I ended up in hospital. I don’t want that, but I don’t want to continue to spend my day feeling overwhelmed by everything - moving back in with my dad and sisters means that there would be some others to take those burdens… Surely moving back to his house is the best choice?