A little over a month ago, I made a post entitled my final goodbyes. With that it was also my two year anniversary in heart support, and I knew that this place would forever hold a special place in my heart. But due to some circumstances, not agreeing with certain decisions, the way I was being interacted with I decided to take a step back and reexamine things, and really decide if what these people said to me really mattered, hurtful or helpful.
Before I continue on, I want to say this, taking a break is healthy. Sometimes you need to step away and get perspective. Believe it or not, being around people who are constantly hurting can sometimes make it very hard for you to heal yourself. So sometimes you need to step away from those hurting people, whether they are hurting you, just hurting in general, or both in order to get in a better headspace to be able to come back and help those people.
Now with that being said, this isn’t my return. But more so I’m coming back with some news, some exciting news for me, and well for those of you who have supported me along the way, I hope this makes you as happy as it makes me. In exactly a month, I’ll be moving about an hour away from the place that I live currently to move in with my boyfriend, and beginning my life. I’ve been wanting to move for quite some time, but for the time it wasn’t feasible. Now mind you there’s been some road blocks, and we’ve got a few more things to finalize before we move in, but I couldn’t be beyond happier.
But the things that this has taught me is to stop relying on people so much. If you can’t go a day without talking to someone, being told that you’re loved and you matter, needing someone’s attention, I would encourage you to take a step away and really begin to examine yourself. Relying on people becomes unhealthy, and I quickly realized that. But the moment I found happiness in myself I became a much happier, and better person.
^^ And before someone gets upset by this statement, I’m not saying that reaching out for support is a bad thing. If you need support please do reach out. But you have to be seeking help for yourself as well (irl therapy, friends and family irl etc.), or it becomes unhealthy and people become emotionally worn.
With that, and because it’s thanksgiving there’s four specific people I need to think. There’s four people, and only four that have stuck by my side since day 1 of me reaching out to them. @NateTriesAgain @Danjo @StHaTaDi-Ethan and @eranwest9 I’m thankful for you four, more than I can continue to tell you guys, and remind you. And even though we don’t talk much anymore, you four have been solid rocks in my life, and have continued to pray for me, and talk to me despite it all so thank you.
With that being said, I want to remind you all that you are capable of being okay. You are capable of being loved. You have to focus on you, you have to get yourself help, you have to want help, you have to choose to step out of your pain, and choose healing!
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
Monkey
