Multiple miscarriages, infertility and hope

I’m in the middle of my second IVF cycle at the moment. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over five years now. In that time, I’ve had five miscarriages, all unexplained. Four from natural cycles and one from IUI. We’ve had a failed IVF cycle and this cycle was delayed for six months due to the pandemic. Now I’m full of hormones and struggling to be hopeful. Even if the treatment works, there’s nothing really to make this more likely to work out than the last five successes. It just feels like there are so many hurdles. There are paths and options ahead, but I’m a planner and can’t plan this. There are just too many unknowns.

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Hey meteor! I am so sorry to hear about your losses and fertility challenges. It sounds like that compounded with the pandemic is really causing stress on top of sadness and uncertainty for you. As a type A person myself who hates to have things out of her control… I know the feeling of not knowing and being frustrated that the “right” path and the ultimate outcome are not clear at this moment. Are you a part of any support groups online or (safely) in your local area? I highly encourage you to seek out some guidance from a therapist or even spiritual counselor… All you can do is your best with whatever comes your way, and your best today is valid no matter what it looks/feels like. I hope knowing we’re here for you helps a bit. And that your pain eases soon.

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From: fionnafiers

Hey Meteor. I’m so sorry you’re experiencing so much hurt. Planning with uncertainties is so hard and dealing with loss is always heartbreaking. And being full of hormones on top of it all is TOUGH. You sound like an incredibly strong person to be continuing along this journey and continuing to choose hope. I am impressed and proud of you, and please know that you and your experiences are valid and worthy. <3 wishing you all the best

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From: bitemarque

I think we’re all feeling a little out of control right now, and it sounds like your additional unknowns are kind of piling on. I hope you (and your husband) have a caring support structure you can reach out to. A therapist or counsellor, as recommended by MommaFoxFire, is definitely a good idea. I recognize that posting here is also reaching out, and we are here if you want to talk. You are not alone.

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Thanks for taking the time to answer. The fertility clinic has a counselling service, which I’m trying to access, but it’s difficult when I’m already taking so much time off of work for treatment. I’m on the waiting list for telephone sessions at the moment.

I have a tendency to plan for the worst case scenario but I’m consciously trying to believe that this could work. There’s just so much time and discomfort and money riding on this.

Trying to just focus on the treatment right now. Seriously, these hormone injections are like PMS times twenty!

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