My All Over The Place Story

Hello all. Firstly, my name’s Julia and I just turned 18 on the ninth.

My story begins summer of 2012. I fall in love with the band One Direction. This brings out the side of me I’m grateful is part of me everyday, the fangirl. What’s so bad about that, right?

When I started school that year, a sixth grader, my life perspective changed. The fact that I liked 1D spread like wildfire, and it was as if I became a disease. No one wanted to talk to me anymore and I became the victim of bullying. The one thing that still sticks with me to this day is the fact that someone called me ugly and a freak. This bullying lasted for 6th, 7th, and 8th grade, which made me feel absolutely miserable and ashamed.

When I reached high school, it stopped. However, I became haunted with suicidal thoughts during my junior year. I had to take summer school the year before, and when exams came around, my only thought was “If you fail any of these, kill yourself”. What terrifies me most is how willing I was going to go through with it. I had a plan and everything (which I won’t talk about). But finding out I made it through my exams okay, along with the music I love and adore, lifted a weight off of my shoulders. Ever since, I haven’t gotten a single suicide thought again.

Now, I’m officially an adult, going to start college in a couple weeks, and even have VIP for The Chainsmokers and 5 Seconds of Summer (two artists who help me so much) in October and couldn’t be more excited. I may deal with loneliness everyday, but at the end of the day, I survived. And that’s all that matters

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Hey @JuliaRoseBlade209, thank you for posting and opening up. First of all, I’m sorry you were bullied in school for such trivial reasons. Unfortunately, kids at that young of an age honestly don’t know any better especially if no one at home is teaching them any different, and will bully each other over some of the dumbest reasons. You weren’t at fault at all for being bullied over a band you liked, you were just trying to be yourself and it sucks that your schoolmates couldn’t accept you for that.

I’m also sorry that you were haunted by suicidal thoughts in high school, but there are never good reasons to believe that you should end your life. Scores on your tests in school are not a measure of your worth or quality as a human, and such things need to stop being communicated to our younger generations in such a way in my opinion.

I’m so glad to hear about all your future plans. I really hope you enjoy college, my college years were some of my most enjoyable memories in recent years. Also, that’s so awesome you get to see 2 of your favorite artists! I love going to shows, it’s always such an electric and free-ing atmosphere, I love it.

Thank you again for posting, welcome to the community! I too struggle with loneliness at times, I’ve learned to just try to keep my mind busy with new challenges and pursuits, and to engage in whatever I’m involved in. I always encourage others who struggle with loneliness to try and remember to reach out to friends or loved ones as well. If you don’t always feel like you can do that, you can always reach out here or hang out on the HeartSupport Discord or tune into the live streams on Twitch, M/W/F at 1pm PST! You’re not alone, you’re appreciated and you matter here.

Hold fast friend!

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Julia thank you for sharing. I know how bullying feels. Trust me I do. I’ve been bullied since 1st grade because I was getting blamed for my dad leaving the way he did. I was getting picked on saying that I was stupid, ugly, retarded, etc. It really got to me for a while. It all grew and evolved into other things like being the center of jokes and being treated like a walking disease. People would avoid me in the hallways and all that. At the start of my sophomore year I started self harming because it became too much and I felt as if I couldn’t go to anyone. Near the middle of the year I was starting to hit my breaking point more and more. I started getting told that the whole school would be better without me or that I was only cutting for attention. Nobody took the time to get to know me. It hurt. Today was the first day of junior year. No jokes, no insults, nothing was thrown at me. Everybody was focused on getting to their classes and all that. I feel like as the school year goes on I’m gonna get those things, but I’m gonna try to not let it get to me. I know that those opinions and words aren’t worth my time or energy to care about. Stay strong my friend. I believe in you <3

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Hey friend. Here’s a live response to your topic from our Twitch stream!
Hold Fast

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