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Belongs to: https://forum.heartsupport.com/t/36235
My anxiety stems from having a heart attack in 2020. Now any little thing that makes my heart start to beat faster I feel that I’m on my way to another heart attack. It’s a constant fear of mine.
Hard to carry that kind of weight on your shoulders 24/7. It’s like your subconscious is constantly listening in, a kind of background processing that adds drag / stress to every moment. Hard to wrestle free from that.
I can’t begin to imagine how heavy it must be to live with the fear of another heart attack happening. This was without a doubt a shocking, if not traumatic experience for you. You’ve suddenly felt firsthand how fragile life can be, and that alone is a scary thing to go through. It makes completely sense that feeling your heart beating faster brings you back to this experience. I hope that, with time and lots of patience given to yourself, you will slowly manage to not let this fear take control over your ability to ground yourself in the present moment. What happened to you was awful and I’m glad that you’ve opened up today about it – it’s a first step to break free and not let fears cycle in your mind over and over. You’ve survived in 2020 and still have lots of life to embrace, friend. <3
@heartsupportwall4 It is very difficult at times to the point where I am afraid to go anywhere
@heartsupportwall2 Thank you
Makes sense why you’d be afraid to go anywhere - what happens if shit hits the fan while you’re away from safety? From support?
That is completely understandable. Going somewhere means that you have to adapt to a different environment, without having any clue of how it’s going to be, without a sense of control. Feeling anxiety in different ways than you, I definitely feel safer when I am at home, as it feels more familiar, and just a place where I can be more in control – whether it’s an illusion or not, the sense of safety is real.
It’s going to take time to let the memories of this heart attack where it belongs – in the past. For now, the past is living with you, and it makes completely sense. Have you ever received any help to process what happened at an emotional level? Safe spaces and people to talk about it? One things that is absolutely sure, is that you don’t deserve to live in fear, my friend. You absolutely deserve to embrace the fullness of life, and all the gifts it still has to offer to you. You are in my thoughts. <3