So in November my best friend better half and bandmate he was our vocalist and guitarist passed away unexpectedly… it’s been a really hard time to adjust to everything like I went from crying everyday to where at night now it seems to hit me when I’m alone. So I’ll pick up the guitar he gave me that was his and play it when I feel sad. It basically seems to come in waves for me and whenever I’m home I just feel like I’m about to see him walk through that door at anytime then I get sad when he doesn’t and talking to his mom just about every day is hard because shes struggling as well and hurting worse then me her whole world was shaken upside down… Has anyone else struggled with losing a loved one? If so what are some tips and tricks to the grieving process?.. I am also considering seeing a grieving counselor but still debating on that. I want to be strong for his family and I but some days it’s harder then others I have to remind myself to clean the house or self care even like to eat and get out of bed etc.
I’m so sorry to hear about your bandmate passing away. Below are some articles regarding how to cope with loss. I hope this helps a little!
Thank you so much sorry for the late response I will check out these links. This is all still new to me so these articles will definitely help out.I think it makes it even more harder because guys are already trying to date me as well. I ended up snapping like hey he just passed away leave me alone. I find it very rude and ignorant on there end. It’s just alot of emotions trying to deal with in general trying to pour it out in music but the self isolation and trying not to drown in the emotions been hard. Thank you again for the response it means alot.
Hey @PenCapChewww - I am so sorry for the loss of your best friend and bandmate. Losing someone so important to you is so difficult, and I want you to know everything you are experiencing is normal, and we love you.
I recently lost my grandmother, a women who inspired me to give back and taught me to crochet which is something I do in a majority of my free time. She passed very suddenly, and I found out while I was attending an event and had a very difficult time processing.
What I found helped me a lot when processing this information was to focus my grief to how I was going to honor her with my life. I chose to take my grief and sadness, and believe that I can continue her mission in life. I am going to crochet hats and scarves for homeless families in her city, and give back the way she would have wanted. I found this to be so comforting to me, to know that she may be gone but her love and passion for helping others can live on through me.
I hope you find that type of comfort. You really never stop missing them and feeling a hole because of their loss, but you can help them live on by using your life to honor them. I think posting here and being vulnerable is a great start.
Be well my friend.
I’m sorry for your loss. I never had friends passing away. I do understand of dealing with grief. It has gotten under your skin. If you haven’t figure out, it’s okay. In time, you will outlive. I hope you will get through this. Thank you for sharing. God bless. Stay strong.
I’m sorry for your loss. I’ve lost family members and people I know, but I’ve not lost close friends. So I can’t say I know exactly what you’re going through. But I was there when my grandpa passed away. I was by his side so I know the impact that death of a loved one can take on you. And how long the pain can linger.
For me, for years I never saw anyone for it. I kept bottling my emotions up and not really facing them. If you are able to see someone, even if just once or short term, I recommend it! Having a safe place to go to that you can be comfortable expressing yourself is such a huge relief and help in the healing process. It’s not always easy. But it’s seriously worth it and so much better than just letting it eat at you like I did for so long.
Be around loved ones, friends. Anything or anyone that lifts your spirits and that can help you be distracted. Or just someone to listen ya know? Have anyone you can get out with and see a movie or go out for coffee? Lunch! Small healthy outings allowing you to be in the presence of others but also allowing opportunity to talk.
Meditation can be great! Maybe try some meditation. Yoga. YouTube has all kinds of videos for this that you could probably use at no cost and right from home.
I hope you get feeling better my friend. And again I’m so sorry about your loss. We’re here for you. You’re cared for and loved.
Thank you everyone for the responses I am glad in a way yall understand even though I wouldn’t wish this type of pain on anyone and I am truly sorry for y’all loss as well… these are all great advice I’m going to try these out and @anon17277947 that’s what I’m experiencing now I’m bottling up all this anger its effecting my job performance and everything i honestly feel like im drowning each day. @EchoeWings I think that’s really sweet of you to crochet and still do things to honor her… I’m trying to do the same with playing his guitar I guess im just still processing through everything idk thank you alall again for being supportive ane being here it mean alot and I’m glad yall understand I tried talking to family and friends and they just dont get it like they try and be there but they cant understand fully just how bad I feel and am suffering right now…
I bottled up a lot of things for many years. Loss of loved ones. Pains from family. Hurt from relationships. And it really caused me to struggle. I didn’t know how to be myself and exist properly because I was so emotionally lost. The loss of my loved one, was tied to a lot of family hurt, so there was a lot of weight on top of it.
Anyway, I’m glad that we can be of some sort of positivity and comfort. And I truly hope that you will find a way to break through your pain and grief. We are here to walk along side you!
First off, thank you for talking about this. It was so impactful to read and my heart goes out to you. We love you.
We had a lot to say that may ease you a bit. Here it is my friend:
I love all of you and am very grateful for everything and the support and understanding. Even though this is a tough subject but I’m glad others are talking about it and also opening up on what they are going through, experiences etc. Death is never easy, it’s something you can’t see but know its inevitable and reality. @DyllonKG thank you so much for the twitch stream I checked it out and am grateful for that. It was spot on and from the heart and everyone that responded you all are amazing! My heart really went out to the one that lost a friend from suicide that really broke my heart words can’t describe the pain and the feelings associated with that I’m so thankful you were able to keep living and not doing the same thing as your friend and making a promise to him as motivation. It’s one of those things people don’t really get unless went through it themselves with the grieving process and everything. I bought myself a fake engagement ring until I’m ready to date again not sure when that will be but until then I’m focusing on the music. Once things get a little better probably going to go back to music full time again I want to finish what was started project wise etc in his memory and I am going to work on making promises to him so it’ll help keep me on the right path. Love and light to all y’all and if anyone needs to talk my inbox is open as well and I’m here for you guys just like you were for me.
This makes my heart sing. Thank you so much for taking time to listen. We are all grateful we could be there for you <3