Back to heartsupport

My Boss Is An Asshole

Hello there,

I feel like an asshole posting this simply because I know others on here are dealling with REAL issues. But I just need to vent. My boss is an asshole. I am exhausted and I am tired of trying to make my workplace right. I really just want to quit and be done with it.

3 Likes

Hiya AJ, welcome to Heart Support. Don’t feel bad for posting. We all are here for our own reasons and no one person is more deserving than another.

I can definitely level with how you feel. I feel like it’s hard to find management that is actually good to their people, and so more often than not, there ends up a situation like yours where a person wants to quit just because of them. Whenever I’m faced with this dilemma, I immediately start looking for a new job. There’s no reason for you to remain in misery any longer than you have to. Once you have found a new job you can finally have that satisfaction of telling your boss that you quit.

3 Likes

Thanks for responding and for the validation.

Yes exactly! The job itself is not the issue. It’s the fact that the Administrator of our facility keeps putting people in a management position who are NOT leaders. When will higher ups learn that just because you are a manager, it doesn’t make you a leader. I don’t want to sound like I am throwing a pity party but I have been looking for quite some time to find another job. Thing is, it’s been difficult finding another job where I get paid the same amount I am making now and I work the same flexible hours.

3 Likes

HI Friend

First off, your issue is a REAL issue just like anyone else’s, so never minimize them or feel bad for posting about them. I know how you feel about having an asshole boss. I’ve left many jobs due to it. I’ve also, like you, tried to better things before leaving. It’s tough staying in an unchanging situation. There’s times where I left jobs because I thought I’d never be employed again, but that was me “fortune telling” and I also found work. I know my last job I finally decided to quit and all of a sudden my issues were valid and they didn’t want me to quit, but I told them it was too late. A week later I started a new job…well, let me call it a career and tell you why. They treat me like family. I have been with them for two month now and already have been promoted once. They always check in and tend to any needs I have. They do weekly reviews and the reviews are always nice constructive criticism and positive feedback. They are even working to get me working from home so I can be home with my children. The point is, if you cannot find resolution with your asshole boss, remember there are always better opportunities waiting just for you. So make the best decision for YOU!

Hold Fast :hrtlegolove:

2 Likes

I totally understand, my husband is currently going through the same thing. Stay strong, friend. Sooner or later something will come along.

1 Like

Hi @ajtheramos

Having a bad boss really SUCKS! It makes the workplace so difficult and it affects your mental and physical health too. And this is a REAL issue! I went through something really similar at my old job, only I was bullied by my boss. She made every day suck, I used to dread going into to work because I knew she had something lined up to shit on me for. I dealt with it for over a year. I looked for jobs and had interviews, but nothing came through. When I finally got a new job and left, I felt my heart slowly being healed. However, I still continued to have nightmares about my old job. I had to go to therapy for it. The workplace is real. I hope you feel supported in knowing that you are not alone in feeling like this! I really hope something comes your way because not being happy at work legit sucks!

1 Like

Good morning,

@Sapphire @grandmastrqueen thank you for the “support” :wink:

I was a bit skeptical when I signed up for this forum but it’s super cool to come back and read such awesome responses. It’s nice to know that I am not the only one going through this. I think the best thing for me is to just sleep it off - which is exactly what I did. I would like to share with you now how things are going.

So I went to work yesterday and on my way to work I picked up the phone and called my boss to address the situation. I said my peace and can you believe it? My boss apologized! He said it was clearly a miscommunication on his part and that he knows I’m a solid worker and that he doesn’t need to worry about me. That felt REAL good to hear.

It’s funny though how depending on the day or the type of mood I am in, I tend to make people or the situation the enemy. I was so ready to quit and just be done with it. But…why is this? And does anybody else do this?

PS
Thanks for your response Lisa. I would have shouted you out too but since I am a new user I can only shout out two people at a time.

3 Likes

Hi AJ,

It’s good to hear that you confronted your boss leading to his apology. I unfortunately don’t know enough about you to answer your question about day to day moods. Do you find that these days where you blame a person or the situation happening often? Sporadically? Everyone is entitled to a bad day, and it’s perfectly possible that you’re just having bad days here and there, but if you feel like these negative episodes are becoming a hindrance to your every day life, you may want to speak to a doctor.

1 Like

@ajtheramos That’s fucking awesome! I’m glad you got the closure after standing up for yourself.

I go through this and often it’s due to my PTSD and other time, if I go unchecked with my medication and therapy, it’s due to my paranoia. I overanalyze a lot of situations when my mood is not right, but it’s okay. It is not a crime to do this as long as it’s thought through and you do not do anything rash that will effect you in a negative way. You are always entitled to your feelings.

1 Like

“Do you find that these days where you blame a person or the situation happening often? Sporadically? Everyone is entitled to a bad day, and it’s perfectly possible that you’re just having bad days here and there, but if you feel like these negative episodes are becoming a hindrance to your every day life, you may want to speak to a doctor.”

@Sapphire def not a hindrance. More like a cognitive distortion I have noticed within myself. Growing up, did you ever watch the cartoon Doug? Every time Doug found himself in a tough situation he would imagine the worst case scenario playing out. For example, Doug liked Patty. Doug would imagine himself asking Patty out and something embarrassing or terrible would happen like she says no, or he trips over his shoe and then the whole school laughs at him. Right before difficult conversations, I tend to experience Doug type of thinking and that’s exactly what I was experiencing dealing with my boss3.

[quote=“ajtheramos, post:7, topic:16842”]
I overanalyze a lot of situations when my mood is not right, but it’s okay. [/quote]

I def over analyze. My brother used to say I overthink things. For me, meditation and physical exercise have helped me keep my overthinking in check for the most part.

1 Like

I definitely overthink as well, my own therapist has noticed, and it tends to cause my anxiety to get worse. It’s good that it’s not a hindrance though, and that you have found a way to keep it in check for the most part. That can be hard to do sometimes.

1 Like

Thank you. Keeping busy works for me. I def am grateful that I have a wonderful support system and for the most part my days are good. It’s just those rare off days where a bad day turns into a REALLY BAD day. You know?

1 Like