My brother keeps pushing on me to get a job even tho the last job I worked had me nearly Killing my self and yesterday my mom payed for me taking my cat to the vet and today he just told me it was another reason to start making money and it’s not like I’m leeching off people I have food stamps I do the dishes I look after my clothes I just it pushes me to just fucking ending it I already don’t want to live he already dosent respect me being trans or just the idea that I’m not faking and being lazy I just ugh! Like even if I died I won’t be buried as a woman
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It sucks that your brother is pushing you like that. It makes it difficult for you to decide what you really want to do. I know when people push me to do something that I might already have wanted to do, it makes me not want to do it. Although it’s unpleasant to be nagged, could it be that your brother has your best interest at heart? He may want you to work towards independence, so you will be prepared to manage your life when the time comes that you need to.
That you are receiving food stamps suggests that you might be in contact with a social worker. That person may be able to connect you with someone who can help you find employment that is suitable, and not too stressful.
I’m glad you were able to get your cat seen by the vet. Is everything okay?
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So far yeah he’s doing ok he had a UTI and was constapated he came out of hiding earlier tonight and I Know he has my best interest at heart but I don’t know how I’m expected to work when the three jobs I’ve had had ended in break downs I’m trying for disability I’m trying to be independent I’m just…idk in all honesty a bullet seems like the right idea some times but I’m too scared cuz I’ll miss everyone
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The thing about a bullet is, you can’t change your mind later. Although you have had problems with previous jobs, maybe someone who understands the kind of work and environment you need can help you find something that will work out for you.
If disability seems like the right choice for you, keep fighting for it. I know of people who have been denied two or three times, then finally got it.
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I’m fighting for disability it’s just my family won’t leave me be about the money they don’t pay for my meds they don’t pay for my food and they don’t pay my medical bills they take me once a month to a doctor’s appointment and my mom payed for my cats vet visit I just I don’t know what they fucking want well I do they want me to be normal they want me to do how they do they want me to miserable by my fucking 30 s and a walking corpse by my 60s my brother bitches about now having a partner but he treats me like his fucking maid I can’t fucking wrap my head around dealing with life stoned and drunk every day I…I’m sorry alot just bursted out at once I’m sorry I snapped like that
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Hi Derpplup 
Yes you are treated unfairly by your brother. I can relate to the not wanting to be a walking corpse later in life. Honestly why can’t some people understand that concept that you want your life to be worth living. I am sorry that you are treated so badly. Try to find some kind of job that is not that hard and you don’t hate it sou your brother shuts up but you also don’t suffer there. I wish you luck.
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It might be worth asking your brother what he wants for you. Despite what he wants, he is doing the opposite of supporting you. I doubt that his concept of “normal,” is based on expecting you to be miserable by the time you are in your 30s.
If he has a partner, and is spending a lot of his time stoned or drunk, he is suffering, his relationship is suffering, and probably feels as though his life is out of control. You are in a position to be an outlet for his frustration. He may also want to control your life as compensation for not being able to control his own.
Again, getting him to explain what he really wants for you, may help to clarify it in his own mind. At that point, you have an opportunity to acknowledge that you want the same thing for yourself. Then you can talk about the steps you have taken and the roadblocks you have encountered in your efforts. Mention specific actions, for example “on Tuesday I’ll be calling my social worker, to find out what is happening with my disability application, and what I might be able to do to speed up the process.”
Remain as calm as you can. In a lot of cases, patient listening can help an upset person vent, and get a lot of the tension out of their system. If you can calmly let him wind down, your relationship could end up being far less stressful.
Hang in there, and keep us posted on how you’re doing.
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