My devil always was and will be just knowing i am

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My devil, always was and will be just knowing I am ugly, I still cant look at myself in a mirror, my heart and mind breaks everyday when I notice people looking at me. Fucking horrible life.

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Oh friend. It’s so hard to feel like you hate what you see in the mirror when you look at yourself. Of feeling like what you see doesn’t match how you feel inside. It’s this sensation of not measuring up to some invisible standard, and it makes sense to fear the idea of others seeing you the way you see yourself. Every time you see yourself, every time you feel stuck in your own body and every time you see how people look at you in return is a reminder of your flaws and imperfections - at least the ones you perceive.

It’s like carrying this weight of self-criticism and doubt, which isn’t just about physical appearance, but more than anything feeling uncomfortable in your own skin, and it’s so hard to feel like your own body is a prison you’d be stuck in. That somehow, how you present and who you are would be a burden to carry and hide away. It’s hard to enjoy social situations and interactions when you feel such a gap between how you feel internally and what others see from the outside.

I’ve been struggling myself with self-image and hating what I see for a very long time, so my heart really goes out to you right now. This has led me to a path of eating disorders, which I recovered from, but I haven’t found closure with learning to accept my body. It’s really hard when you can’t stand the image in the mirror. When it makes you feel these huge waves of shame to the point of crying. You want so much to feel comfortable and confident in your own body, but it feels like there’s this barrier between how you see yourself and how you want to be seen.

If anything, and I know it’s easy to say rather than actually feeling it, but your worth isn’t defined by how you look. Who you are, goes beyond what you see in the mirror my friend. Somehow, in these struggles, there might be an opportunity to learn to be kind and compassionate to ourselves. Not necessarily to love our appearance, but at the very least to accept the way we are, so can start embracing life more fully. Shame is, in any case, not a place you belong to stay in. You deserve so much more. :heart:

@@HeartSupport Thank you, for taking the time to reply, it means more to me than you could imagine, your meassage together with my daughters message on fathers day, has brighten up my whole day!! TY!

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