I was hoping to feel better today but things went horribly wrong… ill be okay, ill get through it but I woke up this morning fairly sad already, I went to take a shower ( my dog stayed in our bathroom to sleep and such) I saw him and he was totally okay. Acting normal and everything. Fast forward I get out of the shower, I am in my room doing my eyeliner when my dad tells me we are going to run some errons… he goes in the bathroom to get ready and comes back to tell me something is seriously wrong and my
Dog is dying. ( keep in mind this is legit FIFTEEN MINUTES after I was around my dog and after he was okay) in complete shock and not wanting to see my dog in bad shape I run downstairs with my eyeliner ( leaving the cap upstairs … needless to say my eyeliner dried out) I go downstairs shaking in a state of shock. 30 minutes later we leave for the vet… ( my dad made me go with him since we had to run errons after this whole mess…) so I had to wipe
Off the one eye I did eyeliner on since it dried out, we rushed out the door and I completely forgot a coat when it was snowing , my
Glasses AND i walked to the car with socks on… i was gonna put my shoes on in the car but forgot it was snowing & had wet socks… when we got to the vet he did not need to be put down… he already was gone. The worst part: the vet took him out of the car and out of the carrier … I looked back and saw his body… that hurt pretty bad and I still cant get it out of my head it makes me sick. After this I dyed my hair blue. It is not permanent dye because my parents are strict in that way haha but I really do tend to be a self destructive person so I feel as though that was the least damaging thing I could have done. My mom did yell at me about it but its fine, now im just left with all of this finally hitting me. I have had this dog for like 12 years. I got him when I was 5:( its like the last piece of my childhood is dying and I cant stand it. Im sitting where he always lays crying. My dad got rid of his cage already and his toys n the blanket he laid on:(( I have had some support today which I am very thankful for. It just hurts really bad. Its like one bad thing after another !! This also scares me because when life does hit you with one thing after another you feel scared about ‘ oh no whats gonna happen next ‘ and fear the next thing you will lose
Oh friend, I’m so sorry for the loss of your dog. This was so sudden and I can only imagine the shock it was for you just in such a short amount of time. You and your dad had a very good reaction, and I hope you know that you did everything you could. Our pets are definitely part of our family and you’ve been sharing your life with your dog for so long. It’s more than okay to feel sad about it, to take your time to grieve as well. It’s a major loss in your life and I’m sorry your dad took his stuff away so quickly. 
It’s also normal to fear that something bad could happen again anytime soon or that you’ll lose someone else. But you can hold on to the knowledge that this is a fear before anything else, a fear that stems from very valid and understandable reasons. You are not cursed or doomed. What happened is tragic and so heartbreaking, but there won’t be a chain of events, even if your perception of what will happen in the future will probably be a bit different now.
My heart goes out to you. I hope you’ll take care of yourself, as much as possible, in times to come. We’re here to support you through all of this too.
I’m sending tons of hugs to you. 
I’m crying now… readng this… earlier last night… my sister and I were just talking about things like this… how our past… how we miss it, even though we didn’t enjoy life quite that much at the time, and the way that recently, I had been talking to her about how sometimes, I wish I would just wake up and be within my past self, and hear the thoughts of the past self and see out of my past eyes…
and last night… my sister talked about when our cat died…
it hit us really hard and even years later, we still get up in the night an cry together.
She said she saw his body, and that it was so stiff, and her eyes were shaking, and she couldn’t look away…
I also know about the “One bad thing after another.” It happen to me.
I don’t even see how your dad would feel like running errons after your dog just died…
and how you are sitting where he always lays… I know I feel like this has all happened to m before… I can’t quite place it. it’s too painful.
and it being like the last piece of your childhood dying…
Your the only other person I met that seems to understand how much that means. Usually people don’t and they thing leaving your childhood behind is good, but it’s not.
Just remember this.
Take what you need, keep what you have, and do not let go!
do not let go of your feelings!
Do not let go of your memories!
Letting go… is … unhealthy.
I would be an uncompassionate person if I had just “Let go.”
I remember everything and cry because I’m losing it.
even small wooden toys I lose, I begin to cry… and now I am beginning to get scared… what will I lose? What if I lose my home?
what about my best freind?
and you getting that dog when you were 5…
I have never met another person that I can sympathise more with than you!
Please, pay attention to the words of this special song. It does not , make me not sad when I’m sad, or anything like that, but it leaves me feeling… whispy.
Summer in the hills
Those hazy days I do remember
We were running still
Had the whole world at our feet
Watching seasons change
Our roads were lined with adventure
Mountains in the way
Couldn’t keep us from the sea
Here we stand open arms
This is home where we are
Ever strong in the world that we made
I still hear you in the breeze
See your shadows in the trees
Holding on, memories never change…
Also, life hitting you with one thing after the nother is just like with me…
I have got to tell about this. I felt like my mom was taking things away from me, one by one. My mom loves me, she really does… my grandma died and we moved into the house that at one time was hers, which had always been a second home to me. She began changing things, because she didn;t want it to be the same. Seing it, looking the same as always, as if her mom was still alive, made her sad… but it made me sad to see it changing… and it is still making me sad and I know it wound;t ever stop making me sad… my sister was telling me last night that she missed the time before our mom painted the walls white and they were still brown and there were two couches in the living room and in the parlor, before it was our dad’s room for him to do his stuff, it was a room with a hide-a–bed, that my sister and I loved, and we would get up and 5:00 am and practice Ninjutsu on it. Then, they took that bed away. No one else on earth accepted that bed than my sister and me. No one, not even habitat for humanity. So it went to the dump, and the days of practicing Ninjutsu on the hida bed that had cat scrathches on the sides were over… forever…
and it makes me think… who was still alive during that time… or who I was still in contact with… or how, I still had my dojo and went to it regularly… during the time I had that Hida bed…
and the people I’ve lost since then and it’s unbearably painful.
and I know that thins kind of thing, you never get over, no matter how many times your friends tell you, “You’ll eventually get over it.”
the thing you typed feels so real that I actually cried because I know it is real.
The span of events over time has no right to treat you this way, and I don’t know why it does.
You are awesome, and I thought of a thing… if there really is a Heaven, and it is perfect, than what it would be is that it would be an eternal life where you could relive any of the phases of life between phases as you wanted to, and you’d see the people you lost (and in this case animals are people.)
Because for it to be perfect would not be the same for every person, so God would let you choose.
what I suggest you do as well is to listen to music from when you were little.
I really don’t know why your parents would still yell and get mad at you if they know your dog just died and how much that means to you.
I’m sure they don’t understand, even if they think they do.
My parents never understand even if they think they do, so I think probably it is the same way with your parents.
First of all: thank you so much for your sweet replies. It means a lot. I am so glad we have many things to relate on ( especially the ninjutsu! I knew you did martial arts as well from talking on my other post but did not realize we did the same art ) and I was very grateful my dad was home when he passed. My mom is very bad at handling things like that, often being quite selfish and making situations worse. It was sad we still had to run errons after but there really unfortunately was no other choice we had. In a way I was glad about it though. Being in the car, listening to music it was nice for me. Better than sitting home being depressed. I was very sad he was quick to get rid of his things though:( but thats just how my dad copes with his feelings and deals with things. Same thing happened when my cat passed several years ago. He cleaned up all of my cats things. Its odd to me how he can just get rid of things so fast but I understand. We all were really upset. Goodbyes just really suck. And I am very sorry about your grandma and about your cat! Just remember what breaks you down builds your character. These little events in our lives really shape us, that can be part of the beauty of life even if at times it is tragic
Thank you very much. haha goodbyes really do suck. Thats the one super sad thing about pets even though we dearly love them.
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