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My ego is probably one roots of my meltdowns

It still get my stupid solo projects into a full band, at least I found one person that had jam little bit. However, could not find anyone else. I been crahlist, made flyers, message people and still got nothing.

I feel people in the Metalcore ( metal general) scene in Boston hates my music and I don’t fit into thier clicks. People did not really like my last band I was in and honestly into fucking egotistical dough bag.

When first start out as a bassist, I feel use more at least level head kinda. Still deal mental issues, but I was always trying middle man. Not push anymore buttons, try make people get along and not have to things my way.

But deal with fucking egotistical musician, I turn into the thing I hate. I don’t know I go on rant on Instagram about how everyone hate me and my music. Snapping at random one day and just fucking idiot of myself.

One embarrassing things their when I went on random vocalists ( cause insecure about women) on messager. Cause I can’t see that band, cuase I was an asshole and really like thier music.

I hate I became this because of something I love.
Selfish it bummer that people hate my music

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Instead of posting online, type out a document, and get it all off your chest. Then wait a few hours and take another look at it. It’s a method of introspection. It can do two things. The first is that you can dump a lot of emotion on the page without hurting anyone. The second is you can look at your thoughts more objectively.

Further down the page, you can respond to those thoughts as though you were helping a friend process those feelings.

It’s worth a try.

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This is actually a super wonderful idea. Taking a note for future, thanks wings.

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It’s such a big step to say it is your ego getting in the way. The next question is- what are you going to do about it?
@Wings has a super great idea.
It sounds like you respond with your emotions first impulsively.
It’s okay to feel what you feel, but you can control how you let others know how you feel.

the letter writing serves to give you a breather, an intermediary. so if you have to go off on someone because of your feelings, you get to express that, but without the regret and embarrassment.

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