My parents have done nothing but pick favorites my entire life. It has always been about my other siblings. When I was 13 I started self harming and im almost seventeen and still deal with it. My self harming has gotten a lot worse recently when my dad admitted to having a favorite child. It made me feel really left out and like I didn’t belong. It has made me want to just end it all because I know they wouldn’t care enough to even try to help me. I have tried to talk to my friends but they want to ignore me as well. So I have no one to talk to since my family hates me and my friends ignore me. All I do now is sit in my room alone and think about how fucked up I am and how much of a screwed up whore I am. I have also been really down since my boyfriend cheated on me and called me the whore like I did it. So with everything going on my self barm has not gotten any better in the past 3 to 4 years and now I don’t think it will get better and I can’t deal with this anymore.
Hey what area are you in? I might have resources that will be able to help.
Also please know what has happened to you isn’t your fault; your boyfriend is a faithless scumbag and doesn’t deserve a person like you. You’ve seen the dark parts of humanity and it’s hard but in the hottest hells are the strongest metals forged. When you survive and get past this, you’ll have a core of steel stronger than anyone that tries to fuck with you.
The sad reality is: until you get out of the house it probably won’t get better but that’s where I hope to help you. And I will always be here to talk even if there is nothing I can do but that. I will be your friend if no one else will. Always
But what happened to you isn’t your fault and you are and your scars are a testament to the fact that you’re strong. strong enough to keep living and to guarantee that with your own hands. I’m scarred too but I’m still here. And my scars remind me of what I survived every day and that why I’m here trying to help others.
Please keep in touch. And if you need to get to me my Instagram is @great_walrus.
HeartSupport has a book about self harm if you’re interested: ReWrite - HS book all about self harm: http://amzn.to/2JJUDVl .
Thank you for posting and opening up with us, Band. I am sorry you have to go through this and feel like you have no one to talk to but you have us and the rest of the HS community. You are loved, you are cared about. I am sorry about your boyfriend and he really doesn’t deserve you. There is no reason for him to act like that and it’s not your fault so I hope you don’t feel like it is. It can be hard for people to know what to do or how to react when someone comes to them with something so vulnerable as self harm. I hope you can try and open up to your family about how you are feeling and try and seek some help so you can begin healing. You don’t have to deal with this alone. I believe in you and hold fast, better days are on the horizon.