My girlfriend is an alcoholic

Every other night it seems like my girlfriend thinks it’s a fun time to get absolutely drunk. Every once in a while that’s okay with me, but all the time becomes a responsibility I am not willing to deal with. I am left troubled and frustrated. She promises to work on drinking less but ends up in the same head space. I love her and don’t want to loose her. I don’t know what else to do. I’ve tried taking to her, referring her to therapy, and being there through the hard times. It’s hard. I feel stuck


Hey, I hear you. Unfortunately unless she wants to stop there isn’t much you can do other than explain how it makes you feel and let her know where you stand with it all. Is there any support you can get locally for people living with alcoholics?
You’re not alone with how you’re feeling, it is so difficult having someone close to you put alcohol so high up on their priorities list


Are you sure she is an Alcoholic or are you just putting that label on her because it’s your way of coping?

These are the common warning signs of becoming dependent on Alcohol.

  • Experiencing temporary blackouts or short-term memory loss
  • Exhibiting signs of irritability and extreme mood swings
  • Making excuses for drinking such as to relax, deal with stress or feel normal
  • Choosing drinking over other responsibilities and obligations
  • Becoming isolated and distant from friends and family members
  • Drinking alone or in secrecy
  • Feeling hungover when not drinking
  • Changing appearance and group of acquaintances you hang out with

It actually takes awhile for someone to become dependent.

Discourage the drinking when she wants to. Instead of drinking go out and do something fun. Suggest alternatives to it and ask if there is something wrong. People drink to hide problems, perhaps this is her way to cope and she just needs some support to figure things out.

Don’t assume she is an alcoholic because she likes to get drunk.


Hey @Tyler777 Thank you for your post
I hear that you are struggling with the fact that your girlfriend is drinking too much and even though she says she will slow down it is not happening and that is frustrating you but maybe the issue is where that drinking is stemming from, why is she drinking and what is causing the problems.
Its natural to feel trapped when you don’t have the answers you need and you don’t know what to do and I’m so sorry that you are both in this situation.
I encourage you both to open up more, to take time to talk when your girlfriend isn’t drinking and if you really feel she is an alcoholic I have found the numbers of Al - anon for you and maybe you could talk to them.
Worldwide Al-Anon Contacts - Al-Anon Family Groups
We are also here for you and your girlfriend if she needs to open up any time.
I wish you all the very best, please stay in contact with us.
Much love
Lisa :heart:


Was this a change in her habits? Or are you noticing it more?

I hear your distress and that you care and want her to be happy and healthy. But it also sounds like you two need to have a serious discussion on this, as it does affect both of you. Does she see it as too much drinking or just as genuine good fun? This may be a difference in what you each think is appropriate, so a talk might be good. Keep up updated!


Thank you all for your advice. I know I’ve replied late to this but it has not improved much since then. We’ve had long discussions and formed agreements. We even went on a 30-day alcohol cleanse which was very helpful. It seems that she uses alcohol as a coping strategy to daily stresses. I’m trying to be patient and supportive as much as I can.


I know sometimes people just enjoy going out “partying”. I’m not saying it’s a healthy choice, but it could be that she just enjoys the social interaction and the “fun” of it?
Has she been open to discussing what motivates her to want to drink so much?
Congrats on the cleanse, it’s a nice step!
I can see the appeal for using as a stress relief, but there is a point where it gets too addictive.

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It’s good to hear that some steps have been taken, even the results have yet to be really seen. That fact that you can both communicate about it openly is a precious asset - make sure to maintain it as much as possible.

I can’t begin to imagine how much this is taking a toll on you though. You really seem to be of an incredible support to her and that’s wonderful. Do you manage to take some time for yourself though? To set boundaries with grace when that is necessary? It is tough to witness the addiction of someone we love, as we are meant to interact somehow with different sides of them depending on how they feel at the moment. I hope you manage to keep some peace for your heart as well through all of this.

Sending plenty of hugs your way. :hrtlegolove:

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