My grandma is a pain in the rear end

I can’t deal with my grandma, she literally came up to my room and talked crap about it and messed almost everything up. Damn, I wish she was a better person.

I can’t do this anymore, she even said that I was living like a slob. And it’s really getting to me. I know I am messy, but she shouldn’t be coming up to my room yelling


From Muffin2029+Megan=<3: Hello Katelynn. Vasilije here. I see your grandma seems to be bothering you. Just know that she does love you and that she’s doing that because she has some form of issue / is going through something difficult. Be there for her and don’t let her comments get to you since they aren’t true, and it’s most likely a way for her to ease her stress. Remember that you’re loved and that you matter. Everything will be alright.

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I can understand that it would be frustrating having someone call you that name. It’s not always nice feeling pressured by the adults around us.
Maybe do you think you two could work out a plan? For example she tells you what she would like to see done for the week, and you promise to keep it tidy and do those chores and she then trusts you and gives you space to take as much time during the week to do that?

That way you can still keep things in the order you like them and you both have that respect of hearing each others needs.


Hi Katelynn,
thank you for coming back and reaching out to us.
in our teenage years we see things different, we are still growing. your grandma loves you, i am sure about that.
she does that, because of you. later in life, we thank them for that. be happy that you have a grandma, and tell
her that you love her. i lost mine nearly two years ago, i would tell her every time i see her.
you are not a slob, you are a teenager. you care about other things at the moment, talk to her. sit down and clear things out. she will be listening to you, i am sure. you will do great.
you matter most, and you are loved :purple_heart:


Hey Katelynn
Thanks for your post, I dont think your grandma really thinks you are a slob, think maybe she just gets a bit frustrated with the messy bits in your room. I wonder if you could come to an agreement with her that you will keep the messy bits tidier if she stops calling you names??? A little less messy is always good, I need to do that too. I hope you can sort it out. Lisa. x


From Rohini_868: I think teenagers/young adults and parents/guardians/elderly have very different ideas about what is a “clean” room, and the state it should be in. She may see say, a pile of something that annoys her, but it’s a comforting thing for you. Being mean about it doesn’t really help the situation, so her approach that way isn’t so effective. Maybe you sit with her and ask what she’d like to see for it to be considered clean, and work out a schedule that you’ll do the cleaning, throw out trash, etc. Maybe ask for some more storage or organizational things to put things in a neater way.
Sounds like a classic generational difference. Learning how to navigate that is often difficult, but hopeflly it can all smoothen out.

From Siddhartha: my great-grandmother used to do the same thing. And she used to say similar things. And it hurt every time. I wish I knew how to handle those moments when I was younger.

It can be hard growing up in a household with such a large age gap, but know this: You do not deserve to be yelled at, or berated.

Are you open to advice about keeping your living space tidier? I can’t speak about you, but know what helped me as I got older.