My heart goes out to you when i was 10 my 16 year

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My heart goes out to you,

 When I was 10, my 16 year old sister tried offering me money to let her kill herself. She had asked me for help opening a bottle of pills and I realized what she was trying to do.. I took them away as she pleaded with me to let her. I was unable to call for help, as she wouldn't let me use the phone. Fortunately, her friend called the police. I was so confused, dumbfounded and utterly emotionally destroyed as I watched my mom and older sister arrive home just as the EMTs were loading her in the ambulance. They pulled me out of class the next day to speak to a counselor they had come in from the high school. 

 Fast forward 24 years. My best friend since 3rd grade shot himself in the head with a .30-06 rifle on his 25th birthday. Horrifyingly, he was discovered by his i5 year old son. Well, that f'n broke me. News of my first child being conceived  came soon after,. The due date was not only my best friends birthdate, but also his day of death. I thought the birth of a child would lift me up from my despair, but I couldn't have been more wrong. It completely gutted my personality and left me a shell of my former self. I was an outgoing, fun loving, people person with many good friends. I turned inward, literally pushed all my friends away and dove deep into a decade long Opiate addiction that robbed me of my life and loved ones, and robbed my now 2 kids of a mentally present father. I just worked myself to death and was trapped inside my own mind when I was at home. I finally got the courage and the will to kick the addiction, but the damage was done, and I'm still picking up the pieces. I am now 46, and yet I'm still haunted by memories of a life that ended to early. He had the most amazing, boyish, infectious laugh that I can still hear today, and from the outside, one would think he had everything going for him. He was extremely handsome, charming, caring, pretty much had all the qualities most people would be thrilled to even have a couple of.  Women swooned like you wouldn’t believe, he had a wonderful adoptive mother many good friends and fairly well off financially. I looked up to him, I admired and admittedly envied him and every way. When he gave up, it scared the sh*t out of me. If someone that I wished I could emulate, at times wished I could Freaky Friday his life for mine, thought life wasn't worth living, then what the actual f**& shot did I have. 

 Now, as I type this, I feel like I'm once again on the precipice of disaster. Life has been brutally hard on my family the last three and a half years, Almost on a weekly basis, my loved ones, my whole reason for waking up in the morning mention suicide as a viable alternative to the hand we've been dealt. To do this, especially knowing how my life has been seriously affected from suicide, is absolutely, unfathomably, tearing me apart. My oldest is 20, and MTF Transgendered, and is starting to scare me as well. She is really struggling, and no matter how supportive we are, it's just not enough. The fact that she is statistically far more likely to commit suicide leaves little time for my mind to rest... 

 I apologize for the longwinded novella, dang ADHD lol. but if you made it this far, first I commend you for your patience, then I would like to implore you or anyone who has or may think of suicide as the only way out, please, please, take the time to reflect on what that choice would do to those you love. It has rippling, crippling effect that can literally infect and follow them and those they love for decades.. Ask me how I know... I wish you all the best, and remember the wise words of Tupac, "Gotta Keep your Head UP".  💯❤
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Thank you for writing this and for reaching out. Never apologize for being too much, I am more than happy to be here for you and to understand what you’re going though.
I’m so sorry that things have been so hard for you and your family lately, all of the trauma and pain you’ve experienced in the past must make it feel like you have to be the one to save others. The guilt of holding someone’s choice of life or death is too much for anyone to bear, especially a 10 year old. I’m so sorry that you had to step in so much for your sister. Although you were able to be so incredibly brave, you were a child and shouldn’t have had to bear so much weight.
To have felt and seen the effects of losing someone so close to you to suicide is so scary. It can create paranoia and the want to never let something like that happen ever again.
I want you to know that I am proud of you for how strong you have been, but you do not have to keep carrying all of this pain on you and feel so responsible. The loved ones we have around us are there for a reason, we are not meant to internalize and deal with all of the burdens that life throws at us on our own.
Seeing the stats on suicide rates for transgender teenagers can be scary. Although it is a true statistic, it is to much for you to harbor this fear so deeply. Many transgender individuals who take their own life have no support system and feel ostracized and different. For you to be her parent, for you to love and accept her and create a safe space means the world. Continue to make this love known to her, encourage her to reach out and talk if she needs it and reminder her that she is loved.
I personally struggled with suicide for much of my highschool experience, and I consider it a miracle that I am still alive today. One thing I did when I was in a psych ward that helped me keep going was to make a little list. It may sound silly, but having reasons to look at and remind me that life was beautiful and worth living went a long way. Here’s some that could help you get started:

  1. To laugh until your cheeks hurt
  2. To see a sunset and a sunrise
  3. To swim and splash around in the summertime
  4. To window shop during the Holidays
  5. To wear your favorite clothes
  6. To eat/cook your favorite foods
  7. To discover your new favorite foods
  8. To hug your loved ones and kiss them on the cheek
  9. To go on a date
  10. To have a day where you look in the mirror and love what you see

Suicide is such a hard and scary thing to deal with, but I am forever grateful that I somehow found the strength inside of me and had those around me that helped me keep living so that I could be alive today. You are not alone, and you are so very valuable and so extremely loved. Holdfast, my friend, I am here for you <3