My heart hurts

[idkman]

I made the mistake of getting in an online relationship with a terrible guy. We were best friends and then we became a thing. And for two weeks he was obsessed with me, made me feel special. Then recently, actually for a month or two, he started neglecting me, with no facetimeing, flirting, sexting, no asking me how my day was, and ignoring everything I say. I wanted to talk to him, to talk about this and see if he was over me, but he’s been avoiding me. For a week he hasn’t texted me unless I text him, asking if he’s free. He always says he’s not in the mood to talk or he’s busy. Then I told him I hate feeling like he’s avoiding me and he just texted me he’s done and that he’s tired of me annoying him to talk. He was just mean, saying he’s busy worried about his house and car and job. I said how am I supposed to know what you’re going through if you never talk to me? I don’t know what gives him the right to be such an ass when I’ve literally been the nicest and most supportive girlfriend, always trying to help him. He said he doesn’t want me to support him, he can support himself.

This is the guy I trusted most in the world, we literally planned to meet irl soon. And now I don’t know. He’s a different person, he hates me and I don’t know why and I don’t think I’ll ever get closure by talking to him.

My heart hurts. I feel so betrayed and like I’ve literally been punched in the face. I can’t stop thinking about everything he’s done to hurt me. I can’t sleep and I can’t eat because of this.

How am I supposed to move on when every time I have a free moment I just think about this? I just want to talk to him one last time, see if I can even recognize him and if he ever gave a shit about me. I just want him to care and emphasize with how I’m feeling, but he’s selifsh, stubborn, and close-minded and will probably never understand why he’s upsetting me. He’s making me feel embarrassed for caring about him and being upset that this thing of ours is over? He can’t understand why I would want his attention and for him to just be a good boyfriend. No matter what is going on in his irl life, he has no right to treat me like this but it still hurts.

[onlyhuman]

some people think that telling what’s going on in their life can make others stressed or upset. they isolate themselves and ignore or push away others. if so they might be having a hard time, they still care. sometimes they are just being a jerk. you have every right to feel hurt. try to take your mind off him for awhile. do a hobby. talk to a friend. anything.

[Kaycee]

I recently went through an almost identical situation. This breaks my heart because I know exactly how you must feel… I didn’t get the closure or the reason why he didn’t want me, especially after all that I had invested in him. It still bothers me and keeps me up most nights but what helps me get through those really hard days/nights is journaling.

I’ll toss and turn in bed, look at the clock go from night to day. When Im at the point where ‘crying it out’ doesn’t help, Ill write everything I feel. I write down all the things I wish I could say to him. How he used me and took me for granted. Everything I sacrificed for him that he has no idea about. All the ways that he hurt me and how even in the end, as much as he deserves for me to hate him, deep down I still care about him and wish him well.

The hardest part was choosing to let him go and forgive him regardless of not having that closure… I realized, I couldn’t gamble my chance at healing on him making the decision to reach out and apologize to me. I prayed every day and every night to understand the pain I was feeling and I admit, I felt so stupid for caring so much about him, the same way you feel. But the truth is, if anyone should feel stupid, its him, for taking your kindness for granted and not realizing what an amazing person you are.

You have so much to offer, and unfortunately, no matter how good you are to certain people, it wont make them good to you, but Kindness is never a bad investment. No matter where you sowed those seeds, you will always reap the fruits, in some form or another. Keep being your wonderful self the right people will always be grateful for the unique light you bring to the world. Dont let anyone dull it.