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My last goodbye


#1

i’ve been suffering for a long time and don’t what to do about it anymore i can’t get help and can’t get better i’ve tried and tried but it just won’t happen i don’t know what else i’m supposed to do anymore…


#2

Hi friend,

I know how hard life can get sometimes. I’ve battled with so much crap and so many times I’ve been at wits end with it all.

But, even if it doesn’t always feel like it, the darkness can find its light. Please hang on my friend. I know things are hard, but I care for you as a person even if you are a stranger. I want you to be okay. I want you to feel better.

Please reach out to a hotline. A friend. A family member or a medical emergency personal if you feel really bad. Let someone be there for you and help you. I know that’s not always very easy and can be scary. But you are so valued and so important. Even when it doesn’t feel like it. It’s true.

I’m sending you so much love right now. Please take care of yourself. You don’t have to go at this alone.


#3

i have been fighting this alone for four years now and i can’t handle it any longer i cry myself to sleep every single night and it’s killing me i can’t take it anymore i want out


#4

@trying_to_recover

What can this community and I do to help you to get out?


#5

We are here to listen my friend. And to support you the best we know how. To offer you compassion and understanding. :heart:


#6

i don’t know anymore i want out of this now


#7

Hey man,
I don’t know your story or your past or anything but stay strong. Life is shitty sometimes, it really is. Like I struggle myself almost everyday to not pull the trigger and end it all. Sometimes we just gotta keep pushing through no matter what. Not sure what kind of music you like to jam to but you should listen to Invisible by Disciple. It’s a song that has helped me though a lot. You AREN’T alone! Stay strong buddy.

  • Jayden

#8

but i can’t do it anymore no one wants to be friends with a depressed girl so why stay here when i go away and be happy i can’t do it anymore


#9

Hey. I know how you feel right now. I’ve been down this road for a long time. Please hold on. Recovery is worth it. I can promise you that. You deserve so much better than what you get and I believe that one day you will get everything you deserve. Please stay safe and hold on friend


#10

@trying_to_recover

I’m sorry.


#11

for what you didn’t do anything


#12

i think its important that not only do you use us as a resource of hope and encouragement, but you also need professional help too. Both together can give you the tools to succeed better then just one by themselves.


#13

@trying_to_recover

I know, but I wish I can do something to help you.


#14

i don’t know if anything will help now


#15

@trying_to_recover

I see. I hope you are having a decent week. Thank you for replying. Take care.


#16

Hi, trying _to_recover, I’ve been exactly where you’re at. I felt that it was much easier to just let go and the pain would be over-finally. I’ve been at that point many times in my life, but for some reason I haven’t done it. I honestly can’t give you any reasons why I haven’t, but all I can tell you is that I’m very happy that I haven’t. At the very last second, before I swallowed hundreds of different types of pills something stopped me, and yes, it did get frustrating because I had imagined how great I would feel when the pain was finally over, but when I couldn’t follow through, I honestly felt a little disappointed. My life has been f-up for the past thirty years. Because of a severe drug addiction and the numerous crimes I committed to support my habit, a judge sentenced me to 20 years in state prison. I served 19 years and 8 months of that 20 year sentence. Before I got out I never could have imagined how much the world had changed during that time. I had absolutely no friends, the ones I had before I went in, were either gone or had gotten married and their wives didn’t want their husbands hanging out with a convicted felon. It was during that time that I found out just how physically painful loneliness is!! I did have one sister who had offered me to stay in her basement and I did for two months, but then she kicked me out unexpectedly for a reason I’ll never know. So I was back to living on the streets again. I can still clearly remember the night that I felt it wasn’t worth it anymore, I felt that after serving nearly 20 years my life would get better, but in reality it wasn’t any better than when I was inside for all those years and I felt totally hopeless. There are a lot of freight trains that come through the town I’m in now and that night I was absolutely sure that I was just going to step in front of one and my pain and problems would be solved for good. But then I saw a man in a wheelchair that has lost both of his legs in Viet Nam and I watched him politely refuse help from people who wanted to help him in some way and it got me to thinking how much worse off he was than me. I couldn’t imagine going through life like he was, never being able to walk again, never able to dance with a girl or even hold her close for that matter. I continued to sit there and think, that even as low as I felt then, this guy who really did have a reason to complain and to feel how bad life had treated him, he chose to feel the opposite! He had a smile on his face and was even joking around with some of the others that were coming in and out of the store and I was amazed at how he must have lifted himself out of the despair he had felt after losing his legs and chose to go on and make the best of the life he had left. He had inspired me to take another look at what I had been feeling and I came to the decision that if he could be happy I could damn well be too. That night was nearly fifteen years ago and I can still remember it clearly as being the turning point in my life that had saved me from God knows what, but even though I still have bad days once in awhile, I can still feel a reason to smile everyday. I need to end this comment before it becomes a manuscript:), but I want you to know that I’m with you if only in my thoughts and prayers! You can do it just like I have and you can definitely make a better life for yourself, all you have to do is to start. I wish that typing phone numbers wouldn’t be against the rules or I would ask you to call me collect and we could talk or better yet I could just listen. Please stay safe and know that there are people out there who are willing to help and love you just as I do. God Bless


#17

Up until a while a week or two ago, I felt the same. Today was actually supposed to be the day I killed myself.
But then I found someone to love me. In a way no one had before. Someone to lean on, to support me.
I strongly suggest finding someone, whether is be a lover or a close friend to lean on. It helps a lot.
Before I started talking to this person, it had been years since I’d really been happy.


#18

Hi @trying_to_recover

I am so sorry you’re feeling this way, I am so sorry you’re burdened with this. But know that people here in this community want you to stay alive. We want you in our lives, you matter to us.

Someone sent this to me one time when I was at one of my lowest points and I saved it onto my phone, I am not sure if you’ll find it helpful, but I hope you do. I hope that it can encourage you and offer you some solace like it does me.

Some reasons not to leave us:
You won’t see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.
Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.
You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.
You won’t laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.
You won’t go on another adventure. You won’t drive around under the moonlight and stars.
They’ll miss you. They’ll cry.
You won’t fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.
You won’t get to interrogate your sister’s fiancé when the time comes.
You won’t be there to wipe away your mother’s tears when she finds out that you’re gone.
You won’t be able to hug the ones that love you while they’re waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.
You won’t be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.
Instead, they will be at yours.
You won’t find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.
You won’t celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.
You won’t turn another year older.
You will never see the places you’ve always dreamed of seeing.
You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.
This will be the last sunset you see.
You’ll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.
If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.
This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.
This is who will care about you when you are gone.
You can change lives. But I hope it’s not at the expense of yours.
We care. People care.
Don’t let today be the end.
You don’t have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It’s not wrong to ask for help.
Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting

Hold Fast dear one, your life is precious and worth fighting for.
Hannah Presley


#19

last i checked no one cared for me at home


#20

I get you!! I have been struggling for that long too!! Its tough!! You are strong and a warrior, you have fought a war that no one knows about!! I admire your ability to continue breathing!!