My life in a nutshell!

I’ve gotten along with most people in my life. I try to be loyal to friends but most of the time I don’t get it back. I just don’t get it. Maybe it’s my anxiety that causes me to care so much about what people think about me or say about me? I find myself allways thinking people are talking about me. If I see to people talking quietly I’m always thinking it’s about me. This happens mostly at work. I have alot of friends at work and I keep to my self and don’t give out personal info so maybe it’s just me. Why can’t I just be happy everyday. All I think about is the bad experience I have had with people. I’m always waiting for something to happen. When ever I talk to friends I haven’t seen in a while I’m waiting for someone to say something they herd about me even though there can’t be much because the last 4 years I haven’t been around friends much. I’ve been concentrating on my children. Why do I think like this? I just wanna be normal as Happy. I hate thinking negative all the time. I need to some advice? How to I get away from this negative thinking?

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Hi, Mooseman.

I have battled with things like this for many years. I have had a lot of friends that the relationship felt like it was one sided and I had to move on. I’ve also spent a lot of time helping and encouraging others and feeling like I get little in return. I never expect things back when I give to people, but I can definitely understand the feeling of giving so much time and energy to people and then feeling like people never offer the same.

Ive spent a lot of my life giving. So much it feels like it’s how it should be. I feel like when I need someone that I am asking of too much or I am a burden. Or like you, I get too focused on what people think about me and worry about judgement or people gossiping. I am autistic and struggle a lot with socializing. I always feel like I’m just weird to people. And I often feel very missunderstood.

So you are not alone in this.

However, it is important for us not to dwell too much on the “what if” plague. Because it literally will drag us down.

What if someone doesn’t like me?
What if someone is talking about me?
What if I try and then I fail?
What if I try and I get rejected?
What if I get close to them and then lose them?
What if…

It’s all so toxic and unhealthy. If you trap yourself in waiting for something to happen, you are going to rob yourself of so many good things that you could have. Trust me, I have been there! It was something I had to learn to come through as I was going through my teens and my early twenties.

It’s hard not focusing on what others think about you. And it’s sad that even if so much good was said, that one negative opinion from someone can bring us crashing down. We have to train ourselves to love ourselves even when others do not. Truth is, in this life, we will run into all kinds of people who love us, and we will run into all kinds of people who don’t like us. We can’t like everyone and not everyone can like us but we can’t let those people drag us down.

Any time I find myself thinking like this I have to remind myself to stop. I have to try to bring my mind back to a peaceful and calm place. Some things that I do to help with anxiety, stress and negative thoughts are…

1.) Listening to calm music. Here are some playlists that I enjoy listening to that help.

2.) Meditating. I have found that youtube is an excellent place to look up random meditational audio. There is also an app that has some meditation resources you can use. It’s free to use with some in app options that you can buy for more features. It’s called Head Space.

3.) There is also BetterHelp if you want or need some online therapy that is accessible to you 24/7. Heart Support has a link where you can get 7 days of a trial for free to see if that could be of help to you. The link was super long and I wasn’t sure how to shorten it. So just go to and click on the Better Help box. It’ll take you to their referral link for the trial.

4.) Reading. Reading self help books, motivational books or anything that just strikes my interest has also helped me distract. You could also check out Dwarf Planet that Heart Support will send you completely free of cost if you need. So that you can have more resources to help you battle depression. That can be found here:

I hope that something here can be of help to you. I’ll leave you with a song that @Kayla just shared with me a few minutes ago.

Hold Fast.

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@anon17277947 - I just gave “The Strong” by Eva Under Fire. I’ve never heard of the band, but they’re really good! Thanks for sharing!

Side note: Did they take down their latest 2018 album? I can’t find “Heavy on the Heart” or the song you attached anywhere. :confused:

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Ask @Kayla, she knows more than I do about the band. It’s how I heard of them. Though I thought there was a copy of the song on Spotify?

@anon17277947 - I’m only pulling up 1 album (from 2015) and 1 EP (from 2016) on Spotify. @Kayla help!

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Hey brother

First things first you need to realize that other people’s opinions of you are not important at all lol.

You seem to go out of your way for these people and it’s wasting your time.

It’s hard to find good friends, and if they’re causing stress in your life you have to disassociate from them and find new friends because it’s better to be alone than to hang out with idiots.

Get yourself out there man. Do small things like join a club or volenteer or something and more people will eventually come across in your life.

Thinking of you brother :slight_smile:

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