My life is a success...but why am I alone?

HeartSupport Support
1

Hello everyone. :hamburger:
My name’s Francesco and I’m feeling unlovable. Before starting out, let me give you a little bit of backstory.

The last few months have been pretty hard. My best friend abandoned me, the girl I loved cheated on me, I had a car incident (I’m miraculously alive) and I threw up non-stop for three months before I decided to take control over my life. That’s what I did. I started doing the things I loved again: driving, singing, playing football, reading, creating stuff, photographing…I even started working out in order to gain the weight lost because of throwing up, and I’m still doing it. I started eating healthy, and made some new friends, after months of being completely alone. Work and school are going great too, so there seems to be nothing I should complain about. Apparently.

Even if my life is really good right now, I can’t help but feeling alone. I always go out alone. My friends live far from where I live, and they all have a boy/girlfriend. Me, I can’t find anyone. I feel like I’m not someone people could fall in love with. Everyone says I’m really handsome, I’m interesting and fascinating and engaging (I have a lot of interests and hobbies), but I can’t seem to find anyone who would like to spend their time with me. I was the type of guy who would take a lot of girls out on dates, but as I grew older I feel that’s not what I want to do anymore. I want someone to really love. I’ve been in love only twice, and I want to do that again, but I feel like I can’t do that anymore. And I’m tired of waiting and waiting and waiting, without nothing happening. I love myself. I feel good about myself when I look at the mirror, I know I’m worth. After years and years of depression and suicidal thoughts I’m glad about this, but no one seems to care. I feel like I’m invisible sometimes.

Maybe I’m just a bad boyfriend?
Please reach out and tell what you think. Thanks in advance for your help.

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Hey Franceso,
Thanks for reaching out. Congrats on getting control of your life as you did, that in itself is quite the accomplishment. I obviously know nothing of your relationship but being the victim definitely does not make you a bad boyfriend. You lost relationships with 2 people very close to you in the past few months and that is a very difficult thing. I think you are going about it the right way getting back into hobbies and things that interest you. Hopefully those can lead to strong relationships with people with similar interests, both close friends and a girlfriend. Just remember relationships can take a while to form and you did say it has only been a few months. Keep at it. You have loved before and you will love again. You have been loved and still are loved, people do care. I definately know the invisible feeling, but those that care are out there. The mind is weird and there are times when it blurs out those that do care and the good in your life, and instead fixates on what you don’t have, and what you “need” which sometimes can even be the need to be in a relationship. Be thankful for what you have had, think about what you have learned from the past to apply to future relationships. It will work out for you.
Jim

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Thanks Jim for replying, it means a lot to me.
I’m trying my best not to let the past toxic relationships define what my future will be like. I’m tired of letting those controlling my life. I hope I’ll meet someone soon, but as you said, things need to be slow to be established in the right way.